Tuesday, August 31, 2004


Women, girls, females.  Why are we so difficult and weird?

Admit it.  We're catty.  We're not truly satisfied unless we have something to bitch about.  We gossip.  The only thing consistent about our behavior is that we change our minds so often there is no way an ordinary man can keep up.  Why is that?

Catty example:  I honestly can't work with other women for the most part.  We're catty.  We do not so nice stuff on purpose.  I just realized I've been such a brat lately.  There's a superintendent here who claims he's Mister $10M project with decades of experience and a college education, but he can't program his new cell phone or collect his voicemail messages.  So I left him VERY detailed instructions.  He still didn't do it.  My boss comes in a little while ago and hands me said cell phone and says "fix it".  I said "what, is he retarded?!?"  Thank god Dan thought that was funny.  It was mean!!  So I sat there and emptied his mailbox, changed the greeting, and maxed the volume.  MY voice says 'You have reached Bob So&So at (company name), please leave him a message'.  I swear I'm mean.  One of the voicemails I deleted was Mr. Superintendent trying to make a greeting for himself.  Maybe he's just technology-challenged.

Never satisfied example:  Our temperature.  Think about it.  We're never comfortable - always too hot or too cold.  We always "need" new clothes.  There are naked people in some third world country - I read an article where one group of women in a camp in Afganistan share one dress.  They rotate daily.  We whine about an outdated wardrobe or last season's shoes.  I gripe about the cost of prescriptions and my boss' choice of medical insurance - at least I can treat my asthma, right? (and my insurance is paid for 100% so I need to shut the heck up)

Why do we do that?  HOLD UP:  Let's just not blame it on hormones ok, because that excuse is really tired and old.  Why can't we just be comfortable and happy?  Why do we need to be catty and gossip and never satisfied?

This is gonna get me a barrage of hate mail but I actually feel sorry for men.  Just look at Joe Male one day - he has to keep up this facade of bravo and machismo, dress a certain way, walk a certain way, carry himself a certain way.  He has to be the one out there changing a tire in the pouring rain because we expect it.  He can't be honest and tell people how sick he really feels or how much pain he's really in because then he'd be a wimp.  He has to constantly second guess himself and his actions, not only around other males but around us too.  He has to put up with our crap 24/7 - hormones, emotional states, too hot/too cold/too stuffy/too whatever, cattiness, dissatisfaction with everything and STILL open doors, scoot chairs, change tires and take out the trash for us.  He's completely driven and controlled by an organ and/or hormones that are constantly in need of something.  Who's the weaker sex now?  Why can't we be a little nicer, a little more grateful, and a little less emotional and demanding?  Why can't we be a little more understanding?

Keep in mind I'm talking about Joe Male here - not Mister Whitetrash who calls women "chicks" or "broads" and treats everyone like crap because he thinks he can.  Think huge truck, belt buckle bigger than his head, tiny feet.

Just a thought - something I need to work on.  I'm gonna watch my catty level for a little while.  I don't wanna be mean anymore.  Bless their hearts, they do put up with a lot.

I'll be practicing random acts of sweetness all day long.  Or at least for the next few hours.  Or until they do something stupid....

NO I'm really gonna try for a little bit.


CYA:  The above piece is called "Talk to the Hand" by Thomas Blackshear and can be purchased at http://www.imagesofaculture.net/index/ArtGallery/viewPiece/1325605.

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