Image Copyright Camilla Eriksson, http://www.millan.net
OK so I thought of something. White chicks can't dance.
Tonight one of my step-daughters long lost friends called the house. She said someone told her white chicks have no rhythm and she thought of us. There's a story behind this, obviously.
Olivia and I used to get up before dawn to exercise to videos. (Gawd another horrid admission). Well, once I bought this aerobic video that was supposed to have a little style to it. It did. It had various black and hispanic women/girls getting DOWN and making it intense enough to be aerobic.
Scenario: Olivia and me, half dead, hair in insane bed head style, makeup smeared all over our faces, pissed at the world (and whoever invented mornings and exercise), watching these chicks get freaky with aerobics, at 5:00 in the freaking morning. So I'm watching this chick shake her booty, because she actually had one and I don't, and good lawd did I try. It was kind of a roll thing....I don't know. I did try though. Hard. My bootie doesn't shake or roll like that. I tried one way and another and I was was working it as hard as a white girl can. I turned and looked at Olivia, who looked equally ridiculous, and we just busted out, dying laughing. Neither one of us could pull that off. Our bodies don't bend that way. We can't shake and roll what we don't have.
White chicks don't have rhythm, groove, or anything resembling that.
I gave that video to one of my dearest friends, who happens to be black and a former Vegas showgirl. She pulled it off, no problem. She tried to show me. After wiping the tears from her eyes (from laughing) we concluded the same thing. There's no hope. I just gave up and went back to extremely perky, extremely annoying rhythm & groove-challenged Denise Austin.
White chicks can't dance.