Tuesday, December 27, 2005

Before and After

Before!  You know you don't realize how really out of control you've gotten until you see a pic of yourself...(moo!)

Now, this is more like it - with my girls (and solo) on Christmas Eve...

And, wayyyy too late Christmas Eve...I am so not missing my extra chin.

 

Wednesday, December 21, 2005

Politically Correct Holiday Wishes

Please accept with no obligation, implied or implicit my best wishes for an environmentally conscious, socially responsible, low stress, non-addictive, gender neutral celebration of the winter solstice holiday, practiced within the most enjoyable traditions of the religious persuasion or secular practices of your choice, with respect for the religious/secular persuasions and/or traditions of others, or their choice not to practice religious or secular traditions at all."

Additionally,

A fiscally successful, personally fulfilling, and medically uncomplicated recognition of the onset of the generally accepted calendar year, but not without due respect for the calendars of choice of other cultures whose contributions to society have helped make America great, (not to imply that America is necessarily greater than any other country or is the only "AMERICA" in the western hemisphere), and without regard to the race, creed, color, age, physical ability, religious faith, or sexual preference of the wisher."

(Disclaimer: By accepting this greeting, you are accepting these terms. This greeting is subject to clarification or withdrawal. It is freely transferable with no alteration to the original greeting. It implies no promise by the wisher to actually implement any of the wishes for her/himself or others, and is void where prohibited by law, and is revocable at the sole discretion of the wisher. This wish is warranted to perform as expected within the usual application of good tidings for a period of one year, or until the issuance of a subsequent holiday greeting, whichever comes first, and warranty is limited to replacement of this wish or issuance of a new wish at the sole discretion of the wisher who assumes no responsibility for any unintended emotional stress these greetings may bring to those not caught up in the holiday spirit.)

Wednesday, December 14, 2005

The Spaceport

Yeah, 50.  50!!

Okay, enough about that.

****

Seems our illustrious governor has decided New Mexico needs a space port.  Shoot, we already have Roswell, why not drop another $200M on a spaceportAliens = space travel.  (?)

Some British entrepreneurs (namely Virgin Galactic - yeah, Sir Richard Branson of Virgin Everythingelse fame.) have decided that a spaceport would do quite nicely out in the middle of southern New Mexico somewhere, yanno way out there by Truth or Consequences or something.  Here's the scoop:

For a measely $200,000 (and that's 10% deposit up front mind you), YOU can take a minutes-long trip into space, where you'll feel quite weightless and floaty, and then you come back down to Earth.  Over 33,000 people have put a deposit down on their mini missions, totalling about $10M.  They plan to take 500 up the first year, and eventually grow to 10,000 a year, with an expected 5,000 astronauts in the next five years.

(image used with permission)

Apparently New Mexico is also planning on hosting the X Prize Cup competition, which will be held annually at our new spaceport.  This is supposed to put New Mexico on the map.  Virgin won the X Prize Cup last year, and the $10M prize.  So away we go...

On top of all that, I just found out we have an official Office of Space Commericialization that was established in 1994 just for this purpose.  I wondered where all our tax dollars were going.  (Besides our ex-treasurer's slush fund, that is!)

New Mexico is one of the poorest states in the country.  There are still more head of cattle than people here, and our cost of living is ENORMOUS as compared to our average wage.  The poverty level is well over the national average, and consider all that entails (high crime rate, high domestic violence rate, high drop out rate, high teenage pregnancy rate...)  I swear, this is still a mighty cool place to live and visit, but given that, we need to be awfully careful where we invest our tax dollars.

So...my thoughts?

First off, I have kids, I'm terrified of heights and I'm always broke, so space travel was obviously not meant for me.

Secondly, if it brings money here, improves our economy and whatnot, right on. 

SIDENOTE:  Its supposed to put New Mexico on the map, but most New Mexicans don't want to be on any map, which is why they became New Mexicans in the first place.  (I know, that made zero sense, but I swear its true.)  Some people like to keep rural areas... well, rural. 

BUT (there's always a but) I certainly hope that with this ENORMOUS cash outlay funded by our taxpayers, that there's going to be a huge benefit - to education, specifically. 

 

Okay now - of course I want to know what y'all think - would you go up, if you had the $200K?  Even if it was only for half an hour?  You get a video to show the grandkids, if that helps.

Tuesday, December 13, 2005

505050505050505050505050505050505050

I did it! 

As of 6:00 PM I've officially lost 50.2 lbs!

I'd like to thank all my friends and family who've so graciously put up with me through this whole ordeal.  No, its not over, but this milestone is HUGE and I've worked awfully hard.

Shopping spree this weekend!!!!!

 

Wednesday, November 30, 2005

Finals, they are approaching...

The next two weeks mark the end of the semester for me (THANK GAWD) but that also means the two words college students hate to utter:

                                                *FINALS WEEK*

I've got a 16 page project due and two finals to take.  In other words, I'll be kinda scarce until they're over. 

Wish me luck!

Friday, November 25, 2005

Some more gratitude.

At the suggestion of my very best friend, I decided to update the "All About Me" pic.  I can't tell much difference, but the other was about 30 pounds ago, so voila!  Y'all decide.  I'm so UNphotogenic, or I'd post a full body shot for comparison.  Maybe I can get her to take one I actually approve of...

Le swung by the oriface Wednesday afternoon and made my day.  See, she hasn't seen me since June, and it was pretty cool to hear her reaction.  So yeah, thanks Le.  You still rock.  Y'all realize she gets the "Very Best Friend" title for a reason.

*~squooge!~*

Another note of gratitude without invading too much privacy (I hope!).  I received a wonderful e-mail from someone who'd stumbled upon my journal and an entry that touched him, and I really was humbled by his response.  It was one of those entries I call "selfish" (meaning I was hurting and needed to spout about it), but it really meant something to him and it was awesome hearing that.  I hope I've made yet another friend with this space.  Thank you, Mr B.  Thank you so much.

That's it for now.  You guys let me know if you see any difference.  I ain't seein' it!

Nite!

Tuesday, November 22, 2005

Happy Thanksgiving (early)

Yeah, we still have a lot to be thankful for.  Here's mine (in no particular order):

-  I lost another pound and a half, and even though I didn't hit my 50 lb mark, I'm still at 49.6 lbs lost and darnit that's pretty close.  (Next week I'll get there FOR SURE!!)

-  My bigger baby, Emily, made it through her oral surgery just fine and as Le said, now I get to baby her for a few days.

- Fuel prices are dropping.

- I have a decent home and I like being in it.

- I have wonderful children who I enjoy spending every spare moment with.

- I still have colorful paperclips at work, and now I have colorful clippies for large amounts of paper.  (hee)

- I still have my space here, as smudged as it is by stupid effing ads.  DON'T CLICK THEM.

- I have many wonderful supportive friends who I love very much.  Thanks for being here.

- I have my little angel puppies who bring me much joy and happiness.

- I have the best job I've ever ever had and the best boss in the whole world.

- I haven't had a severe asthma attack since October 2002 - I enjoy not being in the hospital every few months.  Air is good.

- I am relatively healthy, and so are the people I care about.

- I have a nice car, thanks to the bossman.

- I'm no longer considered obese, and have dropped 5 dress sizes in a year.

- My kids are happy and laugh a lot.

- My home network is working.  Sorta.

- I was able to get a decent manicure.

- I have a comfy bed, clothes, shelter and food.

I'm sure there's more (tons more!) but I can't think of them right now.  Besides, I need to go baby my baby.

Please drop some by in the comments.  This place has had so much negative energy lately, it'll do us good to express some gratitude.

Oh, and Happy Thanksgiving!!

Monday, November 21, 2005

tap tap tap

So....anyone out there still?  Life sure sucks without the convenience of alerts.  Bloglines is pretty cool, and I'm adding journal sites gradually.  I still miss all the alerts in my box.

Purgables:

Harry Potter rocked.  The best one yet, I reckon.  Go see it.

Em's having some pretty intense oral surgery tomorrow at 4:30, positive vibes appreciated.  I know its only dentistry, but its being done by a specialist and she's going under general anesthesia, and I'm a mom. 

I lost another 2 lbs, so I'm down 48 lbs to date (give or take).  Found the first "little black dress" I've been able to pull off in 9 years - a whopping 5 sizes smaller than a year ago, and actually got a LOT of positive response from that.  The best thing is that I got LBD for under $50.  Booyah!

AOL gets an official boogerflick for their lamebutt attempt at appeasement, coming in the form of a disclaimer they'll add to the top of our journals.  Apparently this disclaimer will say we in no way endorse the flashing obnoxious advertisements at the top of our journal space.  Clue:  not only do we not endorse, but we'll never click and we'll never purchase from any of the advertisers.  As soon as I see them up there, they go on "the list" of those I'll never buy from.  Sorry, y'all will have to do better than that. 

!!Please don't click the ads at the top of my journal page!!

I think the furor's dying down a bit now that everyone's GONE ... I just hate this silence.  Hate.  It.  Send me your links!!

Sunday, November 20, 2005

yeah, I know the ads are still here...

 

This place is like a ghost town.  Four (4!) alerts all weekend.  It stinks.  What stinks even more is without the convenience of alerts, I simply don't have time to go visit 20+ journals each day.  I'm learning bloglines, but y'all know that's not the same.

I've decided I'll keep The Purge purgin' on for the time being, and if it turns your stomach to visit, you can check out the mirror site at Happy Delusions (on my favorites list). 

Yeah, call me a sellout or a jerk or a wimp or whatever, but I've honestly got bigger fish to fry.  I sat down and pondered it, and I'm simply not ready to stop Purgin here.  In the grand scheme of things, you just have to ask yourself "How important is it?".  Yanno, with AIDS awareness, gay rights, human rights, people hungry in my little town, this STUPID war that no one wanted...2" x 4" ad banners...There are bigger and more important things to get uppidy about.

Go ahead, keep getting pissed.  I've done my bit and I'll continue the letter writing, e-mail writing, commenting and raising my fist in the air because it really isn't cool what they've done.  I'll just fight the good fight in a more passive-aggressive way than some of my more vocal friends.

Blogspot's great, mind you, but its not home.  I'm hoping (praying) that the AOL losers who implemented this dirty little plan will become enlightened and change their ways.  I'm also praying that this hiatus will be temporary.  Yes, forever the optimist.

Meanwhile, I'll save y'all a place on the couch, and I'll keep your spot warm.

...and I hope you'll keep coming by.

Love you,

=)

sort of mirror entry here.

Wednesday, November 16, 2005

Yeah, I'm here still (for now)

I'm just sort of biding my time, giving AOL a chance to fix this mess.  I hate drama, I really do.  I hate that everyone's leaving.  I think the whole thing sucks rocks.

So my blogspot journal link is in my favorites, but here it is as well.  Its been there forever as a mirror site (just in case AOL farted, as its been prone to do).  I really hope we don't have to resort to that.

THE PURGE ON BLOGSPOT:  http://thedailypurge.blogspot.com

TAKE THE ADS DOWN!!  How hard can it be, honestly?  Take them down.  Just do it.  NOW, before we lose more people.

Until then, its gonna be awful quiet around here...

 

 

 

...anyone know how to get journal alerts for off-AOL journals?  If so, drop me a line and let me know.  Thanks!

Monday, November 14, 2005

Secrets

All secrets are deep. All secrets become dark. That's in the nature of secrets.
 
Cory Doctorow, Someone Comes To Town, Someone Leaves Town, 2005
American science fiction writer

A dear friend of mine has journalled about a certain point in time when she realized her marriage wasn't as solid as she'd always believed.  It was at the exact time when something dreadful was revealed to her.  A rude awakening of sorts, as she watched her now ex-husband sitting on the end of their bed telling her what broke her heart.  A secret he'd kept for a while. 

I'm a firm believer in the philosophy that secrets are detrimental to relationships.  Secrets are just lies disguised as silence.  I believe that if there's something you can't tell your loved one, for whatever reason, its a bad thing.  Affairs are secrets.  Addictions are secrets.  Bad things are kept secret.  Secrets destroy, and secrets can only bring harm.

A marriage is much like a business partnership.  An agreement that your lives will be melded together as one.  There is nothing that should be kept from one another.  Period.  If a secret is allowed to fester and grow unchecked, it will overshadow the relationship and undermine everything the vows were based on.

My children have been brought up with the credo, "No secrets in this house."  Think about grade school, when you heard children whispering and giggling and you were sure it was about you.  How did that make you feel?  My children have been taught to be kind to others, and to respect our household.  No secrets.  Period.  Its a great way to gauge behavior and make choices as well - if its something you'll have to hide, its something you shouldn't be doing.  Surprises are completely different than secrets.  Obviously if you know what Daddy's getting for Christmas, its okay to keep that under wraps because its a surprise.  There is a difference.

I live by this philosophy.  My husband knows everything about my life; every small aspect, every minute detail.  When my children ask me a question, they know I'll answer truthfully.  They know I keep nothing from them, ever.  From the time they were little, I wanted them to know and understand that Mom will tell them the truth, that they can count on me, and that will never change.

Well, tonight was one of those "defining moments":

Let me explain how that felt.  Immediately I understood my place - way far below what I assumed it should be.  I understood that my feelings, regardless of how much value I placed on honesty and openness, mattered little.  Yeah, I understood my place.  My rank if you will.  Yeah...way down there.

I understood everything, and I understood instantly.

Ouch.

So to my friend, and you know who you are...

Lets light a fire tonight and let go.  I'll toss all the secrets in there, and you toss all the items you've been storing, and let it burn, let it go.  No garage sales, no advice columns, lets just do it.  Watch it burn, watch the smoke disappear... taking all the hurt with it.

Wanna?

Saturday, November 12, 2005

CarnivAOL

Paul just e-mailed me about CarnivAOL, and the latest installment is posted.  I just love blog carnivals - the smell of fried foods, the bright lights, the laughter and cheap entertainment....

GO.  LOOK.  NOW.     <--click there.

I decided  (after some urging) to post my Weight Loss Junk entry there, and the other submissions are most excellent.

Paul works awfully hard getting these together, so....

THANK YOU PAUL!

Much hugs and stuff.  For real.

Now go read guys!  Hours of blogosphere enjoyment, conveniently located in one well designed entry - with no commercial interruptions.

Have a glorious weekend!!

(I'm off to finish my 61 page tax return project!)

muah!

Monday, November 7, 2005

An Appropriate E-mail I Had To Share...

A study conducted by UCLA's Department of Psychiatry has revealed that the kind of face a woman finds attractive on a man can differ depending on where she is in her menstrual cycle. 

For example, if she is ovulating, she is attracted to men with rugged and masculine features.

However, if she is menstruating, or menopausal, she tends to be more attracted to a man with scissors lodged in his temple and tape over his mouth while he is on fire.

No further studies are expected.

Thursday, November 3, 2005

Busted...

As many of you know I'm an accounting nerd, which translates to conservative dork on most days, but I'd like to think I don't fit the mold.  Perhaps I need to start behaving myself a little.

The other day I'm zipping along in my company-provided sports car jamming to Missy Elliott.  I mean jamming.  I love the song, I can't help it, so I was singing and car dancing.  Yes, car dancing.  You kinda dance as much as you can while restricted by the automobile and the seat belt.  Bopping is a good word for it.

So I'm at a stop light and I'm bopping, arms up, head moving... when I look to my right and see some colleagues (CPAs) in the car next to me, mouths agape.

!!!

So I turn my head slowly forward, lower my arms, and turn my head once again to the right.  This time both colleagues are hysterically laughing, snorting and pointing.

 

I'll never live this one down.

 

Missy Elliott :The Cookbook :'Lose Control'

Sunday, October 30, 2005

Attitude Adjustment

I decided my weekend would be spent on adjusting my attitude.  I've been WAY too negative lately.  I really do have a lot to be grateful for, and I love this time of year!

So here's to pumpkin carving, hay rides, corn mazes, candy corn and attitude adjustments.  I just needed a reminder.  This is what its all about.

Happy Halloween everyone!

Wednesday, October 26, 2005

Journaling and Selfishness and pfft.

A few days ago, I posted a heart-felt journal entry about stuff and things that I'm going through.  I honestly didn't mean to stir up as much dust as I did, but the response I received warrants a response in kind.

As many of my friends have said, our journals are for us.  They can be whatever we need them to be.  Journalling has become a very valuable tool for me, and serves many purposes.  I can keep in touch with my friends, I can post goofy things, I can put up pics of my beautiful daughters... but the purpose behind me posting my marital issues was two-fold:

First, (and I've done this for the longest time) its helpful for me in emotionally intense situations to get things down in writing.  This helps me form my thoughts, get things into perspective, and vent when communications are failing otherwise.  I used to do this in letter form and throw the letters away.  Now I can do it here, and get feedback.  I'm one of those that truly wants to know if she's being ridiculous.

Second, sometimes we need to open things up to group.  We need the "Girlfriend Factor".  So no, you don't know the whole story, but it still helps to know you're here.  Maybe that's a girl thing, but I love the fact that I've got people in my life who back me up.

The comment was made that perhaps people should print out their journal entries so the sig other can read them, to spark communication.  Trust me, in my situation everyone knows exactly what the issues are.  He knows where my journal is, he's fully aware of what's going on - these entries are for my personal edification, not to start arguments.  Lord knows we've had enough of those lately.  This is our space - a safe place to spew, whine, cry or goof about whatever we want.

Besides, when I open up to group I get totally awesome friends stepping in to remind me just how much I love this man and why.  (Thanks Amy!)

Thank you all for the hugs and the squooge.  I really really REALLY needed that.

*****

On a totally different note...TOTALLY different, trust me.

I'm a shoe whore.  I love shoes.  Anyway I just bought a brand new pair of black leather boots and wore them to work and I just couldn't understand why they hurt so badly.  They were tight and hard to walk in, and I was generally bummed.  I walk a lot during the day, and if your shoes hurt it is not a good thing.  Makes for grumpy Krisses.  Bad.

Now these boots are hot, let me tell you.  Black is one of my favorite colors, and these are sexy.  Plus, they're semi-comfortable and look cute with jeans, AND I can wear them to work because the coordinate nicely with other stuff.  (I can wear my goofy tacky socks with them too, and no one knows.)

Anyway, I digress.

So I went home, took them off, and left them for a few days.  The next time I tried them on, I felt something funky inside.  Turns out I never pulled out the little cardboard insert thingies they stick in there for whatever reason. 

(What is that for anyway - so they don't get squished, or so they don't look dorky in the box??) 

So, yes, I'm still the same goofy dorky Kris.  Last year about this time I was going to work all day, attending meetings and going to class with my shirt on inside out.  I also almost went to work with my shower towel on my head.  (Thank you, Louie!)

This year,  I'm wearing cardboard inserts in my shoes.  Its all good.

 

 

 

Y'all can thank Louie for this entry - when I told him about the boot thing, (after he finished guffawing) he suggested I put it in my journal.  So there you go.

<<---Whoa, Check it out!

I made it to 10,000 and no one claimed responsibility!!

Yeah, so I'm a counter addict, and I'm entirely blown away by the 10,000 thing. 

Simple minds, simple pleasures, I imagine.

 

Thursday, October 20, 2005

Blah. Another completely selfish journal entry.

So often I wonder how two totally different people have made it together for such a long time.  17 years age difference, totally different upbringing, completely different moral standards, different cultural backgrounds...all of the things people say shouldn't matter, but eventually they always do. 

Opposites attract, people say.  Well yeah, I guess they do, but for how long? 

How long is the learning curve?  How long do you make allowances for completely different outlooks on life? 

What do you do when you're so completely different, you sometimes wonder why you're still together?

Her:  Outgoing, young(er), optimistic, goofy, completely against illegal drug use of any kind, goes out of her skin if she has to stay inside an entire day, thinks of sitting around watching TV all day as torture, needs to constantly be doing at least 10 things at any given time, HATES being alone, craves constant stimulation, would just as soon cut her own hand off than steal from another person, and loves spending every spare moment with her children.

Him:  Reserved, quiet, old(er), shy, dark cloudish, somewhat liberal moral standards, loves being inside watching the same set of 10 movies over and over, hates being anywhere but home, loves zoning out and sleeping, and enjoys spending time alone.

So now what. 

I'll tell you:  11+ years of trying to make things work, compromise, patience, and more compromise until the compromising causes resentment.

Angry words, hurt feelings, complete communication breakdown, and silence. 

...and still we tread on.  Why?  I have two reasons, both with beautiful brown eyes and worry on their faces. 

Tomorrow's another day.

Monday, October 17, 2005

Hit me with some good news, please...

Some people I know are perfectly content discussing the end of the world as we know it, based on current events - natural disasters and the like.  The trouble is, they love to do this in front of my children.  So now I get questions like, "How do we know that the world is going to explode in 2012?"

So, I just tell them what I know.  I am not entirely sure the rapture is going to happen in 2012.  As a matter of fact, I'm not sure that's what's going on at all.  I think we're doing relatively okay, and they just need to be happy in their own little worlds for now.  Even if the End Times were here...please don't tell my little 8 year old all about the fiery pits of hell and how the dead will rise again, or she'll end up sleeping with mama again.

Sheesh people - push your apocolypse somewhere else, okay?  Leave the spirituality to her parents.  Honestly.

Then I had to go and rent Farenheit 911 and watch it for the first time this weekend, and cry like a baby.  I put it off for all this time because I knew it would piss me off, and it did.  It didn't do a lot of good to watch that - it just sort of cemented what I was afraid to believe for a long time, which ended up being rather depressing.

That being said - someone leave me a bit of GOOD news.  Does anyone have any??

Yeah, the economy sucks and these disasters are kicking our butts, but I have to believe all is not lost.  I think we're going to be okay.  Any one else willing to toss some optimism my way?

Please?

I know Freee made it to Yoga (almost!!) .  I know Kat lost more weight.  I know Andrea has a hall pass from brain activity (I want one!) ... There's gotta be something else.  Anything.

Tuesday, October 11, 2005

Weight Loss Junk - Stuff That's Worked For Me.

Crazy how a girl's outlook on life can change dramatically with the news that she's lost another 3.2 lbs, for a grand total of 46.2 (at Weight Watchers - I lost 10-15 before that I didn't keep track of too well). 

A few people, (well, mostly Raven) have asked me how I've done so well.  Kris' weight loss success, in 10 easy steps:

First, get pissed.  Get real tired of being treated differently because you're overweight.  Get tired of sleeping horribly, wearing crappy looking clothes, feeling ugly, and feeling tired all the time.  Hold on to the determination and perservere.  Make a commitment to yourself and stick to it.  Find anything you can to remind you and keep you focused.  I happen to use my wedding ring - its very loose now and that's what reminds me of how far I've come.  I am NOT going back.

Second, skip the fads.  Nutrasweet, Jenny Craig, Atkins, SlimFast, the Grapefruit Diet, the Cabbage Soup Diet, the Flavor of the Week Diet, the liquid fasts...fill in the blank.....  Let me save you a couple of thousand dollars - it won't work unless it teaches you how to eat real life food in real life situations.  You're not going to haul prepackaged food with you for the rest of your life, or a shake, or a grapefruit, or whatever.  You'll lose it, but you'll gain it back and it'll bring friends.  Plus, a lot of those things will leave you malnutritioned and ill.  (Like gout, ill.)  It took you several years to put the weight on, it'll take awhile to get it off.  Quick fixes don't work, unless you're willing to risk your life and many thousands of dollars on gastric bypass.

Third, lose the cola.  All of it, but especially diet cola.  I swear I HATE admitting this out loud, but this weight would have been gone years ago if I'd have known that.  (I miss it soooo much!)

Fourth, keep track of what you eat.  Every BLT (bite, lick, taste).  You'll be surprised.  You say, "But I don't eat that much!".  Trust me honey, you do.  Then, find out what you're supposed to be eating and make sure what you consume is under that calorie level. Check out usda.gov for specifics.  Lower fat, follow the food pyramid, keep the sugar to a minimum.  Don't bulk up on any one thing - if you can't eat like real people, something's wrong.

Fifth, drink tons and I do mean tons of water.  I drink about 160 ounces while I'm at work, and more while I'm at home.  Squeeze some limes into it, drink the Dansani flavored stuff - whatever it takes.

Sixth, eat breakfast.  Not pancakes and biscuits and gravy, but something good for you.  A bowl of cereal, a cup of yogurt or a piece of fruit.  Eat something.

Seventh, exercise.  Burn more calories than you eat.  Even walking 15 minutes.  Play with your kids.  Hide the remote.  Do something.  Move.  I know it sucks, and its hard and it hurts at first.  Keep at it.  What they don't tell you (or maybe they do) is that once you do it for a while you start to crave it.  It starts to make you feel amazing.  You start sleeping better.  You have more energy to do more things.  I can now do 3 flights of stairs without passing out.  That's huge!  You do NOT have to go to the gym and lament over all the beautiful women with butt floss walking around - find something you like.  Start by parking the car farther, just do something.

Eighth, refocus.  If you're truly starving, eat, but try to figure it out first.  Are you bored?  Get up and walk around.  Drink some water.  Still hungry?  Wait 20 minutes.  STILL hungry?  Eat, but eat something healthy, bulky, and preferably raw and preferably vegetable.

Ninth, become a grazer.  Eat little amounts, often.  I probably eat 6 or 7 times a day.  Don't eat after 7 or 8 PM if you can help it, and make lunch bigger than dinner.

Tenth, find a friend to support you, or find a group to do it with.  Don't try to do it alone unless you're a hermit.  There's lots of free weight loss groups out there, and Weight Watchers is pretty reasonable.

DISCLAIMER:  I am by no means an authority on this issue, other than the fact that I've been overweight since my second daughter was born 8 1/2 years ago, and downright fat until I got my asthma under control.  I hit a plateau this summer and gave up diet coke, and its been downhill ever since. 

I'm always looking for comiserators, or for sources of support, so please feel free to e-mail me anytime.  Also, check out Kat on my favorites list - she's reached her goal already and may have much more to add (feel free, Kat!)

Monday, October 10, 2005

Freeform word vomit

...because Andrea said it was cool to do this stuff, and reminded me who this journal was for - ME!

*****

SoI'm sitting here, frustrated as hell, mad at myself, hormones raging, head aching and heart pumping ...for what.  Its that whole deferred gratification thing. Yeah, swimming and swimming and treading water and getting swept back out into the abyss and for what.  Deferred gratification.  I'm always working for that thing, if I can just get here or do that or once I get here I'll be okay but lately I never am. 

The funny thing - hilarious, even - is that the only one I have to blame for my flood of responsibility is me.  I work so hard to please everyone, including myself, and my life should be so damn good I need to stop feeling sorry for myself. 

Is that a female thing?  Never being satisfied with any current situation?  Always requiring just one thing to complain about?  It could be something as simple as the ambient temperature, or the way your phone rings all the time, or the way it doesn't...it could be the price of fuel, or the price of milk, or the price of weight loss programs...it could be the way you're always getting sucked in to some new volunteer thing for your kids, or how you miss having to volunteer at the school for your kids....or the way you're bored at work, or the way you're overwhelmed at work. 

Are we just never satisfied?

Am I just never satisfied?

I'm realizing just now that maybe my constant unsatisfaction has some benefits.  I wasn't satisfied with my marital situation the first time so I left.  Yes, I handled it wrong, but I left.  I wasn't satisfied making $7 an hour managing a Pizza Hut so I fixed it.  I wasn't happy being 200+ pounds, so I fixed it - I'm still fixing.  (I promise I'll post what works for me as soon as I can.)  I wasn't happy working with my family so I found the best job I've ever had.  Every significant change I'm responsible for was due to unsatisfaction of some sort.

So I take inventory regularly.  I do have a job I love with the best boss ever.  I have wonderful children.  I have shelter, and food, and a great car and the means to provide for myself and my kids.  I have wonderful squishable dogs that I love to pieces.  I still enjoy cartoons and kid movies, and I love to laugh.  We haven't experienced any horrific natural disasters in New Mexico - I have so much to be grateful for.  Life.. is good.  I'm not one of those pessimistic black-cloud-over-everything types of people.  I need to love and laugh and live and everything else.  Life...is good.

Given that, what the hell is wrong with me?  Why am I constantly unsatisfied with everything?  Why must I always have one unsettling thing in my life - a stumbling block or obstacle - why must I always have to focus all my energy on whatever thing until its gone and I find a new unsatisfactory thing in my life?

Stuff.  Is.  Not.  That.  Bad.

Maybe its the ADHD, maybe its the Gemini in me - I'm always seeking new interests or new stimulation from somewhere.  Whether its a dangerous addiction to someone who I know is bad for me and my heart (I liken this individual to the snake in the Jungle Book - just like Pamela said about Tommy), or its a new hobby I'll throw tons of money at but never truly pursue, or if its a new college major.  (I won't switch, I promise)  I contantly crave new stimuli, and the assigned reading and coursework isn't doing it for me.

So here's my selfish, whiny, dorky journal entry.  I'm going to shake this off, honest.

Wednesday, October 5, 2005

Purgin'

I realize just how much my journal sucketh these days, and I miss it like crazy.  Its just...well, its just everything.  I'm getting there though, swimming, treading water, whatever it is.  Slow and steady. 

I was going to try and keep these purges to a minimum, and stick to the one-subject kinda entries, but when has that ever worked for me?? 

Never.  So the randomosity continues...

****

A list of excuses for not journaling/being a better friend/exercising as much/sleeping as much/reducing my stress level:

CFMA Board Member

CFMA Community Service Committee

CFMA Salary Survey Committee

CFMA Banquet Committee

CFMA Chapter Awards Committee

NUCA Marketing/Membership Committee

Assistant Girl Scout Troop Leader

Full time controller for a busy construction firm

Half time student

Mom of two beautiful wonderful intelligent happy talented daughters

Now, please join me in saying "Kris will not take on any more crapola or volunteer her time for anything else until her plate empties a bit".

I am working on the word "No".  I've danced around it, worked around it, tried to be nice about it.  I'm spent.

Thank you.  Thankyewverymuch.

****

Random question:  Does anyone else think Bush's nominee for the Supreme Court is a sacrificial lamb for Gonzales?  I mean, now he can say..."Well, I nominated a woman, but y'all wouldn't vote her in."  Again, Harriett who?

Like Leno says, "Now hiring for Supreme Court Justice - No Experience Necessary"

Whatever.

***

I had to purchase new winter clothes because my others are all too big.  Do y'all realize what an awesome feeling that is?  Having to buy clothes because you're swimming in the ones you have?

I'm digging it.

***

True story:

At one time, one of my dearest closest friends was an absolutely wonderful woman I went to college with in the early years (12 years ago).  Over time we lost touch - she got married, I got married, she graduated...

This weekend at Saggio's, I'm sitting in a booth facing south, and she's sitting in an adjacent booth facing north.  BAYUM!  It was like a long overdue reunion - tears being shed, a scene being made, loud laughter ensuing...

Turns out she just lost her father, and was feeling quite lonely and sad, when *POOF* ... Kris appears to make her smile and bring her a little bit of joy.

What an awesome feeling. 

***

Speaking of long lost friends, if A-ho happens to be reading this.  CONTACT ME NOW.  No arguments.  I miss you, and I'm tired of leaving messages.

***

My daughter begged me for what I thought was candy corn yesterday at Walgreen's.  So I bought her a dollar's worth, and it turns out to be "Indian Corn".  I don't name the stuff, I know its politically incorrect and things, but anyway, I digress....

The stuff was horrid.  Wretched, even.

Why mess with a beautiful thing like candy corn?  Just sayin', its Halloween season, don't fool with the classics.

****

This lyric is for my purposes only, based on an unhealthy addiction I have.

He's magic and myth
As strong as what I believe
A tragedy with
More damage than a soul should see
And do I try to change him
So hard not to blame him
Hold me tight
Baby, hold on tight

Oh cuz I don’t know
I don’t know what he’s after
But he’s so beautiful
He's such a beautiful disaster
And if I could hold on
Through the tears and the laughter
Would it be beautiful?
Or just a beautiful disaster

I'm longing for love and the logical
But he's only happy hysterical
I'm searching for some kind of miracle
Waited so long
So long

--Kelly Clarkson, Beautiful Disaster

Yeah, its scary, I know.  Trust me, I know.

****

So in an effort to try to make this journal suck a whole lot less, I hereby pledge to post something random, silly, or what I consider funny on a more regular basis.

I hope all of you are doing wonderfully, and I miss you guys tons.

Happy Humpday!

=)

Tuesday, September 27, 2005

Read a Banned Book

I did about three hundred eyerolls reading this list - a lot of them are on my favorites list!  In honor of Read a Banned Book week...READ!

The 100 Most Frequently Challenged Books of 1990–2000

1 Scary Stories (Series) by Alvin Schwartz
2 Daddy's Roommate by Michael Willhoite
3 I Know Why the Caged Bird Sings by Maya Angelou
4 The Chocolate War by Robert Cormier
5 The Adventures of Huckleberry Finn by Mark Twain
6 Of Mice and Men by John Steinbeck
7 Harry Potter (Series) by J.K. Rowling
8 Forever by Judy Blume
9 Bridge to Terabithia by Katherine Paterson
10 Alice (Series) by Phyllis Reynolds Naylor

Heather Has Two Mommies by Leslea Newman
My Brother Sam is Dead by James Lincoln Collier & Christopher Collier
The Catcher in the Rye by J.D. Salinger
The Giver by Lois Lowry
It's Perfectly Normal by Robie Harris
Goosebumps (Series) by R.L. Stine
A Day No Pigs Would Die by Robert Newton Peck
The Color Purple by Alice Walker
Sex by Madonna
20 Earth's Children (Series) by Jean M. Auel

The Great Gilly Hopkins by Katherine Paterson
A Wrinkle in Time by Madeleine L'Engle
Go Ask Alice by Anonymous
Fallen Angels by Walter Dean Myers
In the Night Kitchen by Maurice Sendak
The Stupids (Series) by Harry Allard
The Witches by Roald Dahl
The New Joy of Gay Sex by Charles Silverstein
Anastasia Krupnik (Series) by Lois Lowry
30 The Goats by Brock Cole

Kaffir Boy by Mark Mathabane
Blubber by Judy Blume
Killing Mr. Griffin by Lois Duncan
Halloween ABC by Eve Merriam
We All Fall Down by Robert Cormier
Final Exit by Derek Humphry
The Handmaid's Tale by Margaret Atwood
Julie of the Wolves by Jean Craighead George
The Bluest Eye by Toni Morrison
40 What's Happening to my Body? Book for Girls: A Growing-Up
Guide for Parents & Daughters by Lynda Madaras

To Kill a Mockingbird by Harper Lee
Beloved by Toni Morrison
The Outsiders by S.E. Hinton
The Pigman by Paul Zindel
Bumps in the Night by Harry Allard
Deenie by Judy Blume
Flowers for Algernon by Daniel Keyes
Annie on my Mind by Nancy Garden
The Boy Who Lost His Face by Louis Sachar
50 Cross Your Fingers, Spit in Your Hat by Alvin Schwartz

A Light in the Attic by Shel Silverstein
Brave New World by Aldous Huxley
Sleeping Beauty Trilogy by A.N. Roquelaure (Anne Rice)
Asking About Sex and Growing Up by Joanna Cole
Cujo by Stephen King
James and the Giant Peach by Roald Dahl
The Anarchist Cookbook by William Powell
Boys and Sex by Wardell Pomeroy
Ordinary People by Judith Guest
60 American Psycho by Bret Easton Ellis

What's Happening to my Body? Book for Boys: A Growing-Up Guide for Parents & Sons by Lynda Madaras
Are You There, God? It's Me, Margaret by Judy Blume
Crazy Lady by Jane Conly
Athletic Shorts by Chris Crutcher
Fade by Robert Cormier
Guess What? by Mem Fox
The House of Spirits by Isabel Allende
The Face on the Milk Carton by Caroline Cooney
70 Slaughterhouse-Five by Kurt Vonnegut

Lord of the Flies by William Golding
Native Son by Richard Wright
Women on Top: How Real Life Has Changed Women's Fantasies by
Nancy Friday
Curses, Hexes and Spells by Daniel Cohen
Jack by A.M. Homes
Bless Me, Ultima by Rudolfo A. Anaya
Where Did I Come From? by Peter Mayle
Carrie by Stephen King
Tiger Eyes by Judy Blume
80 On My Honor by Marion Dane Bauer

Arizona Kid by Ron Koertge
Family Secrets by Norma Klein
Mommy Laid An Egg by Babette Cole
The Dead Zone by Stephen King
The Adventures of Tom Sawyer by Mark Twain
Song of Solomon by Toni Morrison
Always Running by Luis Rodriguez
Private Parts by Howard Stern
Where's Waldo? by Martin Hanford
90 Summer of My German Soldier by Bette Greene

Little Black Sambo by Helen Bannerman
Pillars of the Earth by Ken Follett
Running Loose by Chris Crutcher
Sex Education by Jenny Davis
The Drowning of Stephen Jones by Bette Greene
Girls and Sex by Wardell Pomeroy
How to Eat Fried Worms by Thomas Rockwell
View from the Cherry Tree by Willo Davis Roberts
The Headless Cupid by Zilpha Keatley Snyder
The Terrorist by Caroline Cooney
100 Jump Ship to Freedom by James Lincoln Collier and Christopher Collier

Most challenged books of 2004

1. "The Chocolate War" for sexual content, offensive language,
religious viewpoint, being unsuited to age group and violence

2. "Fallen Angels" by Walter Dean Myers, for racism, offensive
language and violence

3. "Arming America: The Origins of a National Gun Culture" by Michael A. Bellesiles, for inaccuracy and political viewpoint

4. Captain Underpants series by Dav Pilkey, for offensive language and modeling bad behavior  (LOLOL!!)

5. "The Perks of Being a Wallflower" by Stephen Chbosky, for
homosexuality, sexual content and offensive language

6. "What My Mother Doesn't Know" by Sonya Sones, for sexual content and offensive language

7. "In the Night Kitchen" by Maurice Sendak, for nudity and offensive language

8. "King & King" by Linda de Haan and Stern Nijland, for homosexuality

9. "I Know Why the Caged Bird Sings" by Maya Angelou, for racism, homosexuality, sexual content, offensive language and unsuited to age group

10. "Of Mice and Men" by John Steinbeck, for racism, offensive
language and violence


Top Ten Challenged Authors 1990 to 2004
1. Alvin Schwartz
2. Judy Blume
3. Robert Cormier
4. J.K. Rowling
5. Michael Willhoite
6. Katherine Paterson
7. Stephen King
8. Maya Angelou
9. R.L. Stine
10. John Steinbeck


2004 Most Challenged Authors
1 Phyllis Reynolds Naylor, author of the Alice series
2 Robert Cormier, author of The Chocolate War and We All Fall Down
3 Judy Blume, author of Blubber, Forever, and Deenie
4 Toni Morrison, author of The Bluest Eye, Beloved and Song of Solomon
5 Chris Lynch, author of Extreme Elvin and Iceman
6 Barbara Park, author of the Junie B. Jones series (LOL)
7 Gary Paulsen, author of Nightjohn and The Beet Fields: Memories of a Sixteenth Summer
8 Dav Pilkey, author of The Captain Underpants series
9 Maurice Sendak, author of In the Night Kitchen
10 Sonya Sones, author of What My Mother Doesn't Know

Friday, September 23, 2005

AOL J-Land Awards, AKA "The Vivis"

Here are the categories for this years Vivis - the AOL J-Land Awards.  Check out Patrick's Place for details...

 

JOURNAL OF THE YEAR
The top honor:  a journal that stands out above all others in 2005.

LORD OF THE BLOG
Best U.S. Male Journal

LADY OF THE BLOG
Best U.S. Female Journal

DUKE OF THE BLOG
Best U.K. Male Journal

DUCHESS OF THE BLOG
Best U.K. Female Journal

MARQUIS/MARQUISE OF THE BLOG
NEW!  Best Canadian Journal

BEST INTERNATIONAL JOURNAL
NEW!  Best Journal originating in countries other than U.S., U.K. and Canada

BEST USE OF GRAPHICS
Journal with most effective/creative use of original non-animated graphics.

BEST USE OF ANIMATION
Journal with most effective/creative use of original animated graphics.

BEST USE OF PHOTOGRAPHY
Journal with most effective/creative use of original photography.

MOST HUMOROUS JOURNAL
Journal producing the most laughs among readers.

MOST EMOTIONAL JOURNAL
Journal producing the most distinct emotional response among readers, happy or sad.  This is the journal that gives readers a real sense that they're reading something straight from the writer's heart.

MOST THOUGHT-PROVOKING JOURNAL
Journal written in a way to inspire dialog and/or raise awareness about issues that might otherwise go unnoticed.

MOST OUTSPOKEN JOURNAL
Journal with powerful entries that tackle tough issues head-on.  It's not about "masked vulgarities" or anything else that might make the TOS people raise an eyebrow:  it's more about writing honestly without any fears of telling it like it is.

BEST USE OF ATTITUDE
Journal with creative and effective use of grandiose behavior.

MOST WELL-WRITTEN JOURNAL
Best use of grammar.

BEST FICTION/POETRY JOURNAL
Journal consisting of original fiction or poetry that stands out among the rest.

BEST INDIVIDUAL ENTRY OR SERIES OF ENTRIES
Award for a single entry or series of related entries on a particular topic.

BEST THEME-BASED JOURNAL
Journal that sticks primarily to one single topic or theme, from Sports to Travel to Politics to Career to Religion, and rarely deviates from that topic while still maintaining reader interest.

BEST YOUNG PERSON'S JOURNAL
Outstanding Journal written by people aged 14 or younger.

BEST TEEN JOURNAL
Outstanding Journal written by people aged 15-18

BEST NEW JOURNAL
Most outstanding journal created since July 1, 2004.  (That gives a little more than a year of eligibility, but the official nominations of last year's awards were named around July 18th, and I wanted to make sure everyone who had begun their journals around that time had the opportunity to participate.)

BEST AIM JOURNAL
NEW!  Specifically to feature journals created by AIM Users.  Since AIM journals are a relatively recent possibility, all of the AIM journals themselves would automatically be "new."

BEST-KEPT SECRET JOURNAL
NEW!  Most outstanding journal that is older than a year, but that readers feel hasn't received the attention it deserves.

MOST-MISSED JOURNAL
NEW!  A journal you miss the most:  one that still exists but has not been updated in any way in at least three months that readers wish would be regularly updated again.  Consider it the "Best Abandoned Journal."  Maybe this award will change that!

MOST CREATIVE/ORIGINAL JOURNAL
NEW!  Outstanding journal that creates a unique experience for readers.  It need not be necessarily the best journal in all of J-land, but it is the one journal with such a distinct voice that a reader could identify by reading a single entry.  It is different from the "Journal of the Year" category in that it may not be the biggest standout of the year overall, but it is regularly such a special place to visit that you want to come back always.

This sounds like a ton of fun!  In the meantime, copy the category information, visit as many journals as you can, and submit your entries AFTER OCTOBER 1st.

I'm thinking Aileen qualifies for the "Most Missed Journal" award, but I'm thinking SloMo'll take it hands down.  Anyway, the more people participating the better, so let's do it!

Thursday, September 22, 2005

I know its been forever...

So, my topic.  Yeah, I really do have one.  Face transplants.

I watched a show on Discovery Health back when I had the free time to do so about this controversial procedure, and I found it quite interesting.  People horrifically burned in devastating accidents, debating about whether or not it was something they could do.  Basically, it involves transplanting the entire face from a deceased individual onto your head.  The idea is to find a donor with similar skin tone and facial structure.  Admittedly, it is a little creepy, but...what if you were faced with a horrendous disfiguring accident like these people were?  Would you be willing to risk everything in order to have a functioning face? 

An even bigger question:  would you be willing to give up your visual identity in order to improve your quality of life?  You wouldn't look like "you" anymore.  How would that feel?  I think it might be quite traumatic to wake up, look in the mirror, and see someone else.

Many of these people no longer have noses or eyelids or ears.  They're scarred so terribly they have trouble talking and eating.  One individual in particular had to put special drops and creams in her eyes to keep them from drying out.  Her tear ducts had been destroyed along with her eyelids.  People stare and gasp at this woman, who was once strikingly beautiful.  She has little hair, no nose except two small holes, and enlarged lips.  Her skin is so scarred it looks painful.  She's had numerous surgeries and she's lucky to be alive.

This begs the question...would you be able to recognize the facial features of the deceased individual on the recipient?  How creepy would that be, to be walking down the street and see your deceased loved one's face on someone else?

This particular documentary involved medical students who were the subject of an experiment designed to test that particular theory.  They were shown pictures of cadavers (donors) before and after the experimental surgery, where the recipients were also cadavers.  The results were mixed - some students readily identified/matched donor to recipient, where others had more difficulty.

Apparently, the risks are huge and involve infection and rejection. Recipients have to be placed on anti-rejection medication that can harm your body.  If the transplanted face is rejected, recipients could be worse off than they were to begin with - no face whatsoever and no tissue to work with.

I'm not sure what I'd do in this situation.  I always think of my kids first, and if I was lucky enough to be alive to be here for them, I wouldn't want to push my luck.  On the other hand, it depends on quality of life issues.  I know its a superficial thing, but I understand completely what its like to be discriminated against and treated horribly for how you look (ie being overweight), and I can't imagine what it would be like to go through life horribly scarred beyond recognition.  People can be so mean.  BUT...do I really want to look like someone else?  Do I want to lose the visual representation of what is ME in order to fit in?  Would it be worth it to avoid the pain and improve my quality of life?  Do I want to risk my life?

Its crazy how well I get treated now, even though I still have 30 or more pounds to lose.  Everyone's nicer to me, people open doors for me and I get respect much more now than I did 50-60 pounds ago.  Like I said, people can be so mean.

So...what would you do?  Would you continue with your scars and pain or would you go ahead with a very risky surgery that'll have you looking like someone else?

Check out the article HERE.

*****

Crazy what a little stress can do to you.  Suddenly the things that used to be so important, the things that brought you a little joy each day are just not that imperative anymore.  Like journaling, for instance.  Seems the classes I took on this semester are just a little more daunting than I thought they were going to be, and my workload has increased exponentially.  So much so that I've turned into a whining, sleep-deprived weirdo who laughs hysterically at things that are just a little funny and does stupid things like rush out of the house without essential items.  (and I do mean ESSENTIAL items)

My application for graduation was approved, however, so I'm going to finally (FINALLY) graduate in May.  That's my mantra these days...

Almost done.  Almost done.  Almost done.  Almost done.

Things are going along swimmingly, however.  Hubby found a job and started Monday, the girls are wonderful, the job is awesome.  I've just sort of put my own needs aside for the short term.  That's all.

I'm just exhausted, overworked, stressed and treading water.  And whining!!!

*****

There's your  monthly (monthly?) purge with a side of whine.  I really would like to see how people feel about the face thing though, so chime in!

More when  I can....

Saturday, September 17, 2005

AIDS Walk 2005 - Albuquerque, NM

I know people are busy donating to Katrina, but I'm still doing the AIDS walk next weekend.  If anyone's got even $1 to spare and you feel like donating to yet another good cause...

Team Romero 2005

I know we won't get very much this year, but I wanted to be sure my family and friends could contribute if they wanted to.  (Plus everyone's been bugging me about it!!)

The walk takes place next Saturday, September 24!!

Thursday, September 1, 2005

For Miss Aileen

That's right, our notorious Aileen, of Waste of Space fame, is having a birthday today.

I miss you tons, darlin.  I hope you have the best birthday ever!

 

Ugh

Even from beautiful downtown Albuquerque, New Mexico, I'm slowly grasping the devastation that has hit our gulf states.  I'm particularly partial to New Orleans because I spent a week there last year...such a beautiful city, with so many wonderful people.  I hope they know we're all doing everything we can to help them. 

The pictures are upsetting, the stories are gut-wrenching...and much like 9/11, I'm left trying to explain this catastrophe to my children, and helping them understand how important it is for everyone to chip in and help.  Its always a fine line, explaining something as hugely terrible as this without frightening or upsetting them.  Of course they discuss this stuff at school, but its up to mom to explain it and answer any questions they have.

The gas prices are ticking me off.  I still don't think we're being told the entire story, and I still think the American people are being taken advantage of.  The states that were hit the hardest have the highest gas prices.  It just bugs the heck outta me.  Not only that, but it looks like every industry is using the hurricane excuse to jack up prices.  (Lumber is the first thing that comes to mind.)  I just can't stand it when corporations try to profit from tragedy.  (Like Haliburton)

And looting.  These people have no food or water - what do you expect?  Its survival at this point.  I'd do it too if it meant feeding my children, and its going to continue until these people get what they need.

I read a story about a poverty-level mother in New Orleans, stranded, now homeless, with a premature infant who needed oxygen and other durable medical equipment to survive.  The machines were operating on battery power, and the hospital turned her down because she had no insurance.  They can barely keep their life support equipment powered and they're worried about revenue.  Stuff like that makes me sick.

Another thing that's bugging me is my weak understanding that the Army Corps of Engineers was warning people about this, and our leaders (yeah I'll blame Bush) chose to CUT funding instead of increasing it to address the problem of the weakened levees.  Now the entire city of New Orleans is under as much as 20 feet of water...was it really wise to divert funds from this effort?  Didn't this weaken us further?  Didn't they warn everyone that this would occur, especially during hurricane season?  Ugh!  Now the Corps is grasping at straws, hoping that dumping tons of sandbags will temporarily solve the problem. 

Oh and Bush cut his vacation short.  By three days.  (eyeroll)  He had time to go to a rally before he went out to fly over New Orleans.  Priorities, Mr. President.  He handled things very well immediately after 9/11.  I'm hoping he'll pull it together for this.

Hundred year old beautiful buildings - gone.  Hundreds dead.

I hope our leaders feel incredibly guilty about this.  I hope they understand what they've done, as they see all these tens of thousands of people suffering.  I also hope that we still have some international allies that like us enough to help us out.  I hope we haven't alienated them all.

I know everyone's blogging about this, and I'm so far away I'll probably never understand what those people are going through, but its still worth noting that even in New Mexico, people are stepping up and donating and volunteering.  We'll keep praying, keep giving, and keep going until we help fix it.

Let's get it done.

I hope I'm wrong about the funding issue.  I also hope I'm wrong with my impression that our leader doesn't care enough.  I further hope that you'll see our true American spirit in these coming months as we help rebuild.

I wanted to blog about something silly and upbeat, but it just doesn't feel like the time.   I'll send some b-day wishes out shortly though...=)

 

Friday, August 26, 2005

Weekend Assignment - Gotta Have It

Weekend Assignment #74: Got the Wants


There are things in this world that people need to have. This week's Weekend Assignment is not about those.

Weekend Assignment #74: Forget about the things you need -- Tell us about something you want. Preferably something useless and/or expensive. In other words: Toys! Something fun and/or sparkly and/or indulgent that you don't already have but wouldn't mind getting, if someone were offering.

Extra Credit: Do you really think getting that toy would make you happier?

THIS.


OR THIS!!

(REAR VIEW)

I covet this car.  I dream about what it would be like to own such a fine example of automotive genius.  I have begged my wonderful boss to replace my wonderful company-provided sportscar with this one.  Can't you see it - our logo all smooth across the side???

Any model would do, but since this is my fantasy, I'd choose the GT with the 4.6L V8, thankyouverymuch.  I know its a muscle car, but I still want the automatic transmission, fully loaded.  I prefer black, but any color would do. 

                    **I would look SO good in this car.**

Extra Credit question:  I'm a happy girl right now anyway, but...YES this would definately make me happy.  For real and for true.  Either this, or a winning multimillion dollar lottery ticket so I could have a garage full of these beautiful automobiles, but DEFINATELY THIS.

(So I'm a little obsessed.)

Get right on that, okay?  Hee.

Ask Me Anything, Answered

Leigh asked:

How old were you when you had your first boyfriend?

--Kindergarten, believe it or not.  We used to pretend he was The Fonz and I was Pinky.  (damn I can't believe I just admitted that out loud.) 

Wait - does that count?  If not, my first *real* boyfriend was in high school - my freshman year.  His name was Jeff, and I truly thought we'd be married some day.  *sigh!*  My first true love.  (I wonder where he is now?)

Where did you grow up?

--Beautiful Albuquerque, New Mexico - born and raised.  (boring, I know)

If you could live anywhere, where would it be?

--I love New Mexico, but I'd sure like a summer home in New Orleans.

*****

From Freeeee

If you could trade places with one person for a week, who would it be and why?

--Dang.  I really like my life so much, I'm not sure I'd want to.  First, I thought of a lottery winner, just to see what its like not to worry about money, and to be able to help people.  Then I thought of my dog, because curling up in a sunny spot for a nap sounds really good right now.  I know this is a chicken-sh** answer, so I'll have to ponder that a little longer. 

Dernit, Trishy you made me think so HARD.

Okay, I know.  Sometimes I think I'd really like to be able to communicate with those who are gone now, but I'd also have to add that I'd like to be able to do that without being scared.  I'd love to have the ability to just converse with the people I miss, and ask them some questions, tell them I love them, and then be on my merry way.  Oh and Elvis.  I'd love to talk to Elvis.  And John Lennon, and Janis Joplin.  Just for a week though.  Much longer than that and I might just lose what little marbles I have left.

If you could do/be anything in the world, what would that be and why?

--I really like being me, but I think I'd really want to be someone who had tons and tons of money, so I could make a difference and really help people.  I think of the people I really admire in this world - Nelson Mandela, for instance - and all the wonderful selfless things they've done.  I wish I had the means to make a difference.  A big difference.

What is your very first memory?

As an infant, I remember being in a stroller headed into the Dillards at the mall.  (I know it was Dillards because it stayed with this same decor for decades)  My mother pushed the stroller into this dark brown ceramic tiled foyer, I remember the sound being different (you know, how it tends to sound hollow and echoey in tiled areas) and I looked up and saw various pictures of men over the entrance doors and it scared me.  (Crazy, I know.  It must have been photographs of various important people, but I have no idea who.) I started crying because I was terrified, but of course I couldn't vocalize what had scared me...and I remember being scooped up and comforted.  That was the best feeling in the world - a feeling of safety, warmth and love.

That's it  for now - this was fun!  Maybe next time I'll get more questions...HINT.

Happy Friday!

Monday, August 22, 2005

Ask Me Anything

 

Ask Me Anything

Let's Play A Game!

I just got an e-mail from Miss Freee "suggesting" I participate, and I thought it sounded fun.  Check out her entry here.

The game:  ASK ME ANYTHING

Here's how we play:

- Ask me 3 questions. Any 3, no matter how personal, private or random.
- I have to answer them honestly. I have to answer them all.
- In turn, you post this message in your own blog or journal and you have to answer the questions that are asked of you.

OK so y'all have until tomorrow midnite to post your questions, and I'll try to respond with an entry within the next couple of days.

(suggested by Freee - go check it out!)

Thursday, August 18, 2005

Purgables

There's so much going on right now in my little corner of the world.  It's all good stuff, and change is always stressful, but its hard to wrap my little mind around everything that's going on around me.  I often feel this way, wondering if I'm "Standing Still" as Jewel put it.  Standing here watching the world whiz by, forgetting what's really important, missing clues, that sort of thing.

I'm having a hard time remembering to take care of me.  As mothers, we tend to put ourselves last the majority of the time.  I haven't bought myself new clothes in over two years, aside from a dress to wear to a business function and a $10 skirt.  I haven't been to see the dentist to have my wisdom teeth removed, even though they hurt like a monkey a whole lot of the time.  I haven't seen a doctor (aside from asthma crap) in over a year either.  Stupid, I know.

Baby steps.  I have been real adament about my weight loss program and I've accomplished a whole lot there.  40 lbs is a lot.  I've been real stubborn about my need to finish my degree, and I've stayed that course for TWELVE YEARS.  (Three more classes left.  Three!)  I forced everyone around me to put up with my butt while I studied and sat for that certifying exam (which obviously paid off in spades).  I even had my hair trimmed two Saturdays ago.

Somehow, when I'm "selfish" like that, I feel like I have to be selfless in every other way, so I put my needs last.  Then, I get resentful, which is so stupid.  My assistant and I were talking about it the other day, and she pointed out that the most self-LESS thing to do would be to take care of myself, and she's right.  I'm an integral part of my kids' world, and taking care of me is indirectly making sure they're okay.

Lots of changes, lots of things to look forward to.  Its all good, but its still a little stressful.  I just need to remember to unclench and takes things one breath at a time.

Schtuff going on:

Soon (we hope) we should be finding out if hubby got a job he applied for.  He's feeling well enough to work again, which is awesome, but it takes this certain government entity 14-19 days to process a new hire.  As with most things, the more time that lapses, the higher the doubt and worry, so send us some good job vibes.  With him working, the financial stress will be lessened and/or non-existant, but there'll be others.  He'll be gone the majority of the time I'm at home, which was hard on us marriage-wise before.  I'll have to take the kids to school and pick them up afterwards, and the little one will be in a daycare program after school again.  Tha means there'll be little or no time for mom to work out, until I figure out Plan B.  I guess there's a trade off for everything, and we really need the money right now.  In the short run, this will be a really wonderful thing for us, so yeah, send the good job vibes.

School Crap:

My fall semester begins Monday, and unlike any other semester for the past 12 years, I don't have a concrete schedule yet.  I need three courses (four if I take an elective) to graduate, and the two I need to take this semester are full.  I've been trying non-stop since Monday to sneak in with no luck.  So, Monday morning, I'll make a puppy dog eyed plea to a tax professor to please please let me in so I can graduate.  Then Tuesday afternoon I'll go through the same thing with a different professor.  If I don't get in these two courses, I'll have to put off graduation until Fall 2006.  That'll be really really hard to swallow.

I still don't have books purchased yet either, which is also completely out of character.  It is driving me nuts to be this unprepared at the beginning of a semester.  I'm not handling it well.

On the Home Front:

Emily started high school without a hitch, hated it for the first two days, and is now growing accustomed to the newsurroundings.  When I asked her what was so bad about high school she said, "Mom, the school's big, the people are big..."  Yeah, I remember.  Upperclassmen can be such jerks.  Thank gawd she's as tall as me, so she doesn't get bullied around that much.

Kayla's 3rd grade bilingual teacher is a little less than bilingual, which is turning into a large problem.  Its going to be difficult to communicate in Spanish to Spanish-speakers if you have to ask how to say certain things.  Don't get me wrong here, but I think a teacher who claims to be qualified to teach an enriched bilingual class needs to be fluent.  Just my personal opinion.  We'll see what the school comes up with, but we're already anticipating the excuses:  we're short of funding, didn't have time to fill the vacancy...you get my drift.

Volunteering Crap:

So I'm an Assistant Troop Leader this year for Kayla's Girl Scout Troop, at least until they find someone who doesn't work/school/mom so much.  I haven't learned the word "no", obviously.  The woman who does it has done such a good job though, and I'd hate to see the troop dissolve just because she doesn't have the help she needs.

I've also been asked to head another committee for a different professional organization we belong to at work.  That would make three, plus my duties as a board member of my little professional group, PLUS the Girl Scout thing, work, school, kids... I just feel so guilty if I don't accept these requests. 

Someday I'll grow a spine, honest.  I just don't want to end up mean and grouchy.

AIDS WALK 2005:

Yep, its that time of year again!  Pretty soon I'll be posting info on how you can support my team for the 2005 AIDS Walk here in beautiful downtown Albuquerque, NM.  This year, they got high tech and you can build a website to solicit donations.  There's your warning.  I'll be stepping up preaching about AIDS and the desperate need for funding very very soon. 

I need sponsors!  $1-$100 I don't care, its all for a good cause.

Any of my friends and cohorts in the Albuquerque area (Le, B, Rita, Kim, and others - HINT) are more than welcome to come and walk with us.  Its always a blast, and we always go eat afterwards!!

More to come on this topic latah...

New Mexico State Fair 2005:

Yep, since its almost AIDS Walk time, its almost State Fair time.  We're not talking a "cow chip tossin" kinda state fair, we're talking a HUGE multicultural event that lasts almost 3 weeks.  I am PSYCHED.  (21 more days!!) There'll be lotsa pictures, of course, and y'all can pick fun all you want. 

No, there's not a lot to do/look forward to in Albuquerque very often.  Happy??

Jokes of the week:

What does an accountant use for birth control?   ---her personality.  <rim shot>

What's the difference between an accountant and a lawyer?  --The accountant knows he's boring.

Tell me I don't fit the mold.  Wait - first read a different entry, THEN tell me I don't fit the mold.

<purge complete>  I feel much better now, thank you.

Have a glorious Thursday evening.  Peace out.