Wednesday, January 26, 2005

Misplaced Aggression and Making Fun of Me...

That's an O'Keefe, obviously...one of my all time favorite artists.  In fact, I used to have this print hanging in my office.  (Sunflower, New Mexico 1935)

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The McDonald's case is back on - you know, the one where the fat kids are suing McDonald's for making them fat?  Apparently the grounds are that the advertising was misleading, and the plaintiffs were injured as a result.  I think this is hilarious. 

This reminds me a little of the woman (here in New Mexico, go figure) who ordered coffee from a local McDonald's drive thru, then spilled said coffee all over herself.  I've done that.  It burns, and hurts.  I blamed it on my own dorky spazziness and the lack of a cup holder in my car.  My thoughts on this case have always been that first, coffee is supposed to be hot and second, she would have complained had it been cold.  She was the dork for spilling it on herself.

Given that, these people make the choice to eat fattening food.  The children's parents decided to buy said children the fattening food.  There is no false advertising there - the nutrition information for this stuff is readily available.   They're the dorks who chose to eat the fattening food.  I'm certain they ate a lot more than just McDonald's food...well, one would hope, anyway.

U.S. District Judge Sweet said it best when he first dismissed the case: 

"If a person knows or should know that eating copious orders of supersized McDonald's products is unhealthy and may result in weight gain, it is not the place of the law to protect them from their own excesses."

Uhm....Duh?

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For all you perky breasted females out there who complain and wish for breast augmentation surgery, heed this warning.

The other day I raced my children to the car and realized it was almost SCARY the way my breasts bounce in a counter clockwise motion with every step when I run, making about a 2 foot diameter circular motion as they pendulate.  Obviously I didn't have theproper gear on.

Say it with me:  SPORTS BRA. 

No wait...BREAST REDUCTION.  

Hey, at least my health is good enough that I can run without dying.  I'm thinking that's a good thing.   

Anyway, being top heavy isn't all its cracked up to be.  I have dents in my shoulders from carrying these things, and my back hurts constantly.  I would not call it being blessed by any stretch of the imagination.  Trust me.  

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Finally, a warning about eating during an allergy attack, best described with a not-so-recent conversation with my little brother (edited for content).  

ME:  I just took an enormous bite of macaroni, and was in the middle of chewing it, when a sneeze came up.  Rather than sneeze outright and blow macaroni chunks all over the table, I chose to curb it.  This caused all the macaroni in my mouth to be forced up my nasal cavity and out my nose.  It hurt like a monkey's uncle and now all I can smell is macaroni.  I'm telling you this because I love you and don't want the same to ever happen to you.  

HIM:  I can't wait to go tell everyone.  I'm crying over here.  

ME:  I'm so glad I was able to entertain you and your weirdo friends this afternoon, you dork.   

 (note to self:  never again share embarrassing moments with younger smart*ss brother)  

 It took me a good 24 hours and a nasal irrigation to get that smell out of my nose.  The moral of the story:  if you've got a mouth full of food and feel a sneeze coming on, grab a napkin or just let it go.  The alternative is much much worse.  

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 FYI:  Both of those beautiful scenarios were first passed on via e-mail to my friend Aileen, who demanded I share them with my reading audience (or threatened to post them herself).  You can thank her later.      

Happy Wednesday!!

MUAH

3 comments:

kuhlhiggins said...

I love sunflowers. The picture is so pretty. Ouch, that sneeze sounds so painful. Thank you for the warning.
Love,
Kat

phlskygirl said...

Holy CRAP, you finally did it!!  I swear, I was thinking of outting you myself not 5 minutes ago!!  I laughed reading it again the second time around!!  xoxo

cneinhorn said...

yep, she's a dork for spilling coffee on herself, but a RICH dork, LOL ;-)

~JerseyGirl
http://journals.aol.com/cneinhorn/WonderGirl