Wednesday, January 19, 2005

Purgin'

Look!  Its not even blurry.  Go me.  We have the most gorgeous sunsets here, and my daughter's science teacher had to go ruin it by saying they're caused by all the pollution in the air.  Hrmph!

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This will be brief, because I've got tons of homework to do already....grrr.  This class should be real exciting - mergers, acquisitions, partnerships, bankruptcies, estates...everything I ever wanted to know about consolidated financial statements.  I can do this.  I can get through this.  That's my mantra.

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I lost another pound this week...ugh its going so slow.  Crazy how when I work out more and harder I lose weight slower.  Seems like it should be the opposite.  I wish I could just snap my fingers and have it gone.  I'm so sick of people using my weight against me - to either put me down, make fun of me or feel sorry for me.  I wish that everyone in their life had to struggle with weight just once, to see what it feels like.  (Or remember how it felt and have some compassion!!)  I do quite well most of the time as far as self esteem goes, it just gets to me once in a while. 

I've come a long way - and I can tell.  It feels a lot better - I feel a lot better.  Almost 20% of my total body weight is now gone.  My clothes are falling off of me, but I'm not buying more just yet.  I'm gonna wait until I lose another 10 and reward myself.  I'll be ok, I just need to shake it off.

Lots of people don't realize the hell overweight people go through.  I'm not morbidly obese, obviously, but I have friends who are and I just want to scream when I hear people whispering about them when we're out.  One lady I know is a nurse, and she gets so much stuff from her patients and the docs she works with - she's convinced she's been denied promotions based on her weight problem.  She can't go to movies because she doesn't fit in the chairs.  I can't imagine dealing with situations like that.  Another guy I know who's also very large, says that when he goes out to eat, some people will actually analyze his food choices for him.  "Oh, you really shouldn't eat that" or "Wow, maybe you should order something else".  The nerve!

How dare people attempt to criticize another person without realizing what they're going through?  You can't possibly know the health issues or underlying circumstances going on.  Not all fat people are lazy - its usually actually quite the opposite.  GR!

On a semi-related note,  I was cruising around earlier checking out the discovery health site, and there's a place you can go to make a virtual model of yourself at your current weight and your goal weight.  Its kinda fun (and sorta freakishly realistic) - if anyone wants to try it, check it out here. 

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Speaking of my nurse friend getting criticism from patients - do you think its ok for someone to be promoting healthy lifestyles to have bad health habits themselves?  Like my friend the nurse (or my ex-family physician), who's obese, or a doctor who smokes cigarrettes...I think it makes them more human.  They realize what we're going through and they're better able to help us. 

That's kind of along the lines of male gynecologists and female urologists...how can they really understand if they don't have the equipment?  My pulmonologist has severe asthma himself.  He knows exactly what asthmatics go through everyday, how bad it can get, and what makes life for us better.  Does that make any sense?

I'm rambling.

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Off to do homework...

Happy Wednesday!!

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OH before I forget...thank you Miss Jersey Girl for sprucing up my last blurry pink flower pic.  Check it out!!  (Thanks for the tips, too!)

6 comments:

martinsek5 said...

Congrats on your weight loss.  It is hard work no matter how much you have to lose.  One pound at a tme is good, especially when you are doing it for YOU.  Pamela  http://journals.aol.com/martinsek5/RandomThoughts

jeff466 said...

Congratulations on the weight loss progress!  I have a very close friend that has been losing weight steadily on her own sort of self modified diet/exercise regime with all the ups and downs that come from it, but she is doing great http://journals.aol.com/duckebride323/AJourneytoMe/

I've known her for over 25 years and I know what she has went through being overweight and I hate it when people do like you said, whispering about them behind their back, making fun of them, and judging their worth as a person because of that.

Keep up with the good work, you'll be rewarding yourself in no time :)  

Good luck on your class-  http://journals.aol.com/duckebride323/AJourneytoMe/  Jeff

phlskygirl said...

   My lung doc in Illinois also has chronic asthma, and ran marathons every chance he got; he was a great inspiration, and never allowed me to wallow in self-pity after I'd been diagnosed.  However, I wouldn't dream of paying for an overweight dietitian's services (for example).  I shouldn't be expected to take a medical professional seriously knowing that they don't take themselves seriously.  
   My dad has emphyzema, and his doctor smokes.  Total justification, in my dad's eyes, to not quit (like, "who's HE to tell ME to quit." Blah.).  So... the answer to your (rhetorical) question about it being ok for unhealthy people to preach healthy lifestyles.  No, damnit.  
   What's next -- Michael Jackson's Private School for Wayward Boys?  Bill Clinton's Marriage Counceling Services?  :o)~

   Oh, I almost forgot.  Congrats on your weight loss!  Don't wither away into nothing, and PICS, damnit... we want PICS!!

andreakingme said...

I absolutely love that sunset & tree photo. I gasped! Way cool.

mkolasa101 said...

A beautiful New Mexico sunset and flowers too....thank you....I love them both. But don't tell me you have air pollution...I've been ABQ a few times and never noticed.  We'er thinking of making a move to the Angel Fire area...good cool clean crisp air.

Marlene-PurelyPoetry  

photographybymon said...

Hi, I came by way of your link at John's Monday photo challenge.  I loved the sunset you captured.  But, reading your journal really caught me.  I went to the discovery site you mentioned, I liked that, it was interesting and motivating!  I used to weigh 300 I'm now down to 200, been there for about 5 years.  Well, I'm just getting back on track and attempting to lose more weight.  I've heard the comments, about myself and others.  I too wish everyone had to struggle with weight loss just once.  Though I suppose some might say I hope you have to struggle with giving up cigerettes.  UGH, I never cared for those.  Anyway, you have an interesting journal and I'll back. :-)

Monica
http://journals.aol.com/sonensmilinmon/SmilinMonsAdventures/
http://journals.aol.com/photographybymon/Mamarazzi/