Monday, January 3, 2005

Random Randomosity

Its still raining here in beautiful Albuquerque.  Its that nice soft calming rain that really soaks everything.  New Mexico is always so thirsty - natives like me usually really enjoy precip like this.  Someday I'll live somewhere where it rains more often so I can appreciate the weather here a little more.  We're so spoiled.


I found a few of my older pieces today and my dragon got dripped on somehow.  I'm not sure if its fixable, but a lot of time and effort and heart and soul went into it so hopefully I can fix him.  I'd like to eventually find time to paint more.  I think I need to find the time.  I keep saying that.


My boss' daughter (one of the twins) came by today to say hi.  She's adorable.  Tiny little thing, a junior in high school, taking weight training.  Little tiny thing can bench 95 lbs.  She may weigh that soaking wet.  Anyway I thought it was cool she came to hang out with me for awhile.  She worked with me over the summer, and she's a pretty cool young woman.  (Whoa did I just say "young woman"?!? Dang I'm old.)  She's got her stuff together, that's for sure.  She's going to do sports med in college so she can be a personal trainer.  I told her she's already got a client for when she graduates.  WOOHOO!!


Work is overwhelming right now.  Fiscal year end, payroll year end, tax junk, plus my normal duties...there's just not enough time in the day.  Is anyone else feeling overwhelmed right now?  Other people in other industries/careers I've spoken to are actually having down time.  I really prefer to be busy.  Its so much better than boredom!  I am so grateful to be doing something I enjoy, to have such a great boss and such and awesome position for such a great company.  I've been to hell as far as work conditions go, so I never ever take it for granted. 

Stress.  Stress!!

My typical response to stress is usually to retreat completely.  One of my dear friends pointed that out to me the other day.  When I've got too much going on, instead of reaching out and asking for help, I retreat to handle whateveritis by myself.  Not an entirely healthy approach I guess, but at least I'm not resorting to stupid things like lashing out at others or developing a new addiction.  At one point, years ago, when things got out of control I made myself scarce completely.  I ignored my responsibilities (not my children, mind you, my work, my bills, my health) and generally ... well, split.  Checked out, so to speak.

This is just run of the mill stress - some people get grumpy, some people take it out on others, some people consume more alcohol, some run away, some eat more....I retreat and try to handle it all myself, whether that's possible or not.  At least I don't down a fifth of vodka a coke isn't bad as far as addictions go. 

Although my coworkers have been commenting on my increased diet coke consumption lately....


Are we there yet?? 


and i watch you
across a crowded space
laughing with friends
giving and taking moments
and i watch you
gentle with a child
looking and listening
with your heart
and i watch you
a passion in your work
driven to create
hands building beauty
and i watch you
moving through the room
in peaceful purpose
and quiet confidence
and i watch you
eyes blurred by tears
and a haze of love
and i call you back
to see the deep of your eyes
and the way your hair falls
feel the warmth of your hands
and ask you to speak to my skin once again
where are you?


That was a gift from a dear, extremely close friend of mine - its so beautiful I wanted to share.   Thanks Annie.  I'll cherish it always.


Enough randomness for one day.  I certainly hope everyone had a wonderful Monday.  Mine wasn't so bad.




kuhlhiggins said...

Sorry to hear that your day was overwelming at work. I hope things will be better tomorrow.

akleindyke said...


I am very surprised that you still have kept my poetry.  And am very surprised that you used one of them.  I read your journal every day and thought that you had completely forgotten about me.  Anyways, Happy New Year to you and your family.  I really love the daisy painting.  


andreakingme said...

I read you about work. The same thing is going on for me here, plus the hoaky weather we've been having has added to my workload. (I work for an insurance claims office.)

You paint, huh? Swanky! I used to do acrylic paint landscapes when I was in high school. Maybe some day I'll get back to doing it ....

phlskygirl said...

If retreating keeps you from doing some of the crazy or irresponsible things that others tend to do at times, then I say go for it -- therapists and their ilk be damned.  If you are the strongest person you know, there's nothing wrong with relying on yourself to get you through tough times.  As long as you know your limits, and know when it's time to lean on others.  It took me a while to discover those limits, but I finally have... it's me and Mr. Hägen Daas all the way, baby!