Tuesday, May 24, 2005

Reframing Expectations

I took this at our local library branch's rose garden.  I'm feeling very yellowish - kinda perky today.  Yellow is a perky color, isn't it?  OK, moving on...

T-76 hours until my vacation starts.  Yes, I'm counting.

****

Someone just shared a great restaurant policy with me.  Apparently this sign is prominantly displayed at one of our local dives:

"If our food doesn't meet your expectations, lower your standards."

Perfect!

One of my dearest friends taught me this handy tool she learned in therapy, called "reframing expectations".  (Thanks Rita, you <expletive deleted>. . .love ya.)  So, when you find yourself drowning in negativity... pause, reflect, and reframe.  Maybe you were being unrealistic.  Maybe you were expecting an outcome that will never be possible.  In other words, maybe you were smoking crack.

I thought I had the dream job.  Turns out I do, but its not perfect.  Stuff around here is gonna stink from time to time, and the past couple of months, its been rank.  Stressful, negative, low morale, raised voices, grouchy people, the works.  My expectations, based on my experience so far, was that I'd found the perfect job with the perfect company and the perfect boss.  We're not perfect.

However...

Its still so wonderful compared to the last three places I've worked, its absolutely near-perfect.  I just needed to reframe a bit, come back to reality, wake up and smell the coffee...you get the idea.  I'm well-respected, well-paid, there are many benefits (yes, including the car), I have a great boss, and I really enjoy being here each day.

Reframing!

I thought marriage was going to be blissful, passionate, stress-free, and perfect.  I thought it was going to  be like the cheesiest Disney-style fairytale ever.  NOT.  There's going to be sickness, boredom, financial woes, children, bad food, busted furnaces and leaking roofs.  However...I love going home, I love being around my children, and I love having my best friend/knight in shining armor there waiting for me to make everything better and vice versa.  I actually like being married, being settled down, being content.

Content.  What a great concept.  I'm content.  Life isn't going to be perfect all the time.  I can deal with being content, and I honestly don't consider that 'settling'.  I feel very rich, actually.  Blessed, even.  I feel like I've found what most people are looking for. 

Life's really not so bad, when it comes down to it.  No, I'm not on medication....yet.

OH, stop gagging.

*****

Shameless Plug:  My new addiction. LifeSavers CremeSavers in strawberry, raspberry and orange.  60 calories for 3 candies - absolutely blissful in the mouth.  The bomb diggity.  Go get some.

 

Happy Tuesday!

5 comments:

scottstonel said...

You`re so right; the cremesavers are the bomb. Also, the chocolate and caramel are very good. Have you tried the new Hershey`s orange and cream kisses? They`re a bit decadent but oh so good. Have a safe trip and hope everybody has a good time.

lurkynat said...

I agree that as much as each one can staying positive is important!
You have alot of character and saying power and it will relfect well on your family!

gabreaelinfo said...

Great nature shots!

Gabreael
http://journals.aol.com/gabreaelinfo/GabreaelsBodyMindSpiritJournal/

mikethedawg said...

"The Bomb Diggity"....I'm still saying "Way Cool".... I'm so not up to date.
Being content is nice. I love being content!

sunnyside46 said...

i have been married 26 years & I am so with you on this
once you get over expecting bliss,contentment is great
Marti
http://journals.aol.com/sunnyside46/MidlifeMusings