Monday, June 13, 2005

Ventage.

Also taken in my yard.  I don't know why I was compelled to take this shot, but I like it.  For some reason, it conveys a feeling of hope.

As many of my regular readers know, I use this page to vent, celebrate, share, and do whatever else I feel like, because its my place.  This is therapy for me in a removed sort of way, and its been a blessing to have a place to do whatever I want.

Given that, I want to point out a few things I've learned over my almost 34 years (33 + 362 days) on this planet.  I'm going to try to do this with tact.  I'm sure you'll let me know if I succeeded.  This is me venting in a constructive way.  (I hope.)

Most importantly, I've learned that feelings are never "wrong".  Everyone's entitled to them.  If I feel a certain way, it is never "wrong".  I feel it, and therefore its valid.  I may have taken something wrong, and therefore I misunderstood whatever it was, but I'm still entitled to feel.  I'm also entitled to express any feeling I may have, whether its here, or at home, with friends, or in my little head.

I've learned that life is very short, and very precious, and you will miss people close to you very very much when they're gone.  Cherish each moment.

I've learned that forgiveness isn't easy, but its necessary.  Its great to get to the bygones stage, if possible. (big if)

I've learned that while you should forgive people, its important not to forget.  There's always a lesson.

I've learned that family and loved ones will be the very first to hurt or take advantage of you, because they know you love them, trust them, and will forgive them for whatever they do.  This includes blood relatives, inlaws and friends.  They will do very tacky snarfy things and expect youto turn the other way.  They will turn their backs on you when you need them, but expect you to be right there when they need you.  Given that, they can always count on me to be right here, ready to do the right thing, no matter what.

In that, I've learned that just because other people are jerks doesn't mean you have to be.  (Thanks Jim G. for that one.)

I've learned that its important to never give up.  Keep going.  Keep trying.  Keep doing.  Someday you'll get it right.

I've learned that you will discover who your true friends, loved ones, and fans are when something really bad happens to you.  Thank you for always being here.  You know who you are.

I've learned that love is expressed in many ways.  It may be to identify an addictive behavior and refuse to participate.  It may be to tell a third party something very personal in order to get help for a loved one.  It may be to remove yourself from a situation.  It may be providing a shoulder to cry on.  It may be an e-mail.  It may be a hug, a card, flowers, a diamond ring...or in my case, it may be your husband making your lunch for you to take to work.  (love you sweetie)

I've learned you have to take everything with a truckload of salt.  You have to let things roll off, and constantly ask yourself "How important is it?"

I've also learned that everything happens for a reason.  This was the hardest lesson learned, I think.   It was hard because it was painful, and the road getting here was incredibly bumpy and sometimes non-existant.  I owe everything to that journey, good and bad, and I'm glad I had those experiences.

Finally, I've learned you have to let go.  I'm still working on that one.  I know its important, but I'm having a hard time doing it.  I know that if I don't do it, I'll continue to be hurt and it'll take longer to heal,but its necessary.  Its time. 

 

I've had a big blow dealt to me today, and I'm going to try very hard not to give any credit to the individual who tried once again to bring me down.  I'm not going to give this person one more minute of my time or energy, because its mine and I have better things to do.  I'm getting stronger, more independent and better, and all the credit for getting here belongs to me.

This year is gonna be even more awesome than last year, and that's really something.

Thank you for giving me this place to vent, speak my mind, and be me.  More positive stuff to come.

 

13 comments:

kuhlhiggins said...

Kris,
I liked this entry. Everything you have stated is true. I am glad that you vented, spoke your mind, you are you.
Love,
Kat

donah42 said...

Great entry!

jmorancoyle said...

Happy Birthday!
Jude
http://journal.aol.com/jMorancoyle/MyWay

suebear66 said...

I've been lurking around here for a while now and I thought this post worthy of de-lurking to comment.  The picture is beautiful, I love it.  You have some made some really good good points here, some advice I probably need to heed myself.  One of these days I'll start a journal of my own just for the same reasons you have.  A place to vent or rant or whatever.  I'm just rambling on, aren't I?  Anyway, I really liked your post.

lurkynat said...

Dear Kris,
I love your "ventage' or harvesting of all of the knwoledge that you have reaped..in doing this you are encouraging the rest of us to be positive and to reap the bebnfits of being positive about our growth, our love of friends, etc. I was very sad to read about family people who have hurt you. So sad... I have learned that most families have some dis functionality aspects to them and that the most important thing is to forgive(not keep taking it however) and move on...
What agreat journal Kris! here here!

boiseladie said...

Whatever it is, whoever has got under your skin, you have stated it well...  "How important is it?"  Life's too short for anguish.  I wish my family would practice some of what you've mentioned here.  Life is hard enough without all the guilt trips, hurt feelings, and emotionally abusive behaviors.  Hope it's better for you soon.

mikethedawg said...

Vent all you want!
Very good writing, and chin up.
Oh, and according to Aileen.....HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!
Love ya man!

emenemz said...

Good job mommy.I love this and you can vent at home too if you like, your a very good writer and Happy Birthday mommy dearest. I hope this year is great, and I hope to learn as much as you by the time I'm 34, and thanx for what I've learned so far, most of it was from you! love you lots, around the world a billion times and back again,
Emily:-)

phlskygirl said...

Damnit, I've neglected my faverimostest journal.  We emailed a bit a few days ago, and I was chock full of comments, so it *seemed* as if I'd commented.

Yet again, you've put your thoughts to words in ways that most of us could only hope to emulate.  As I was reading the entry, I was thinking, "Mm hm, girl, dass right!  Ezzactly!"  As IF I can relate to your generosity of spirit and forgiveness.  Pretend as I may, I'm just not that person.

You are living, breathing proof of nature vs. nurture.  You were born to be who you are.  Your life experiences have only enhanced, not created, who you are.

Aileen (A-ho)

P.S.  Most of my "unnecessaries" are still packed, and in storage (except for clothing, shoes, and pots & pans... all very necessary to my well-being!)... do you remember the name of the catalog where you got my hot sauce and yummy corn chips?  I want to order online from them, and soon!  The markets here in Vegas suck!

erinnae1977 said...

Life indeed is the best teacher of all! Beautiful pic!

sdoscher458 said...

All are so true...if everyone practiced them the world would be a much more peaceful place...very nice...Sandi  http://journals.aol.com/sdoscher458/LifeIsFullOfSurprises

princesssaurora said...

Excellent entry and so true.  I needed to be reminded of a few of those myself!

thanks

Dawn

kissofvanity said...

Yes, you are so right.  Thanx for sharing.  :)

Ana~