Its deja vous all over again. I have that experience constantly, where I have a very distinct dream - one I can remember perfectly - and some time later the dream replays in real life. Yeah, so you all know how kooky I can be, but this is for real. I dreamt about Louie's kids before I ever met them. I dreamt about my mother leaving right before she did. I had a dream about my grandmother dying, I had a dream about the job I had now while I was working somewhere else.
On more than one occasion, people have told me I was tripping, so I tend to tell people now about these distinct dreams I have. They're clearer than others for some reason, and those are the ones I share - kind of as proof that I really did dream it before it happened. Someday I'll have to talk to Gabreael about this stuff, just so I don't feel as crazy.
So this time, the deja vous is happening in real life, (as in, I didn't dream it) with a very personal situation. This time I can actually say "Hey, I've been through this before. I handled it completely wrong the last time. I know what to do now." The problem is, I've got to summon the courage to take action.
Sometimes loving someone enough means doing something they may hate you for. If it'll keep them safe, its worth it. I'll never regret trying, even if it means this person won't speak to me for the rest of my life. At least she'll be alive. I hope she's still reading this journal.
Maybe I should add "stubborn" to my All About Me section.
Those "learning experiences" I always complain about - the ones I'm so sick of having...? Its amazing how those come in handy as you get older, kind of like how your parents make more sense as you get older. Well, I take that back, you can understand them more as you get older.
Anyway, you can draw on this wisdom, and if applied properly you can alter history. How empowering is that?
Now, if we could just get our kids to understand that they don't need to have as many "learning experiences" if they'd just LISTEN TO THEIR PARENTS.
My dad once likened my teenage stupidity to a kitten. He said it was like watching an adorable little kitten stick her paw into a light socket and get shocked, except she kept doing it. Over and over and over again. And no matter how many times the father cat tried to smash some sense into her brain, the kitten just wouldn't stop sticking her paw into that darned light socket.
Dang that's frustrating.
Here's hoping that one day that kitten (someone who's like a daughter to me) will get some sense shocked into it, and much like me realize its just not worth the rebellion for rebellion's sake. You're just hurting yourself, ya big DORK.
SIDENOTE: Just so you know - that parental curse works, except the results are exponential. My daughters are a lot like me, just to the nth degree. Thanks, Mom & Dad.
Shameless Pimp #8,758:
CarnivAOL. Mr. Paul pimped my journal (via my own selfish request) and so now I'd like to pimp his little work of art. Its really quite entertaining and unique the way he's put it together...please go check it out. The next "submission call" will begin Tuesday, July 26th.
If you'd like to submit your own masterpiece, please e-mail it to him (PLittle@aol.com). Aren't carnivals fun??
(oh and thanks for your tip on the Mayor. I liked yours best of all)
Shameless Pimp #8,759:
The wonderful Mrs. L pimped my little purge in a BIG way as Guest Editor of the Week, and even though I didn't make the front page, I'd still love to send her the biggest e-hug ever for even thinking about me.
Once again, I'm verclempt.
Please check her out (I'm sure most of y'all already do) because she manages to bring me a smile almost every day.
(bald spot the size of an english muffin. HAHAHAHA)
Now, if I could just get Miss Aileen to resurface...
Happy Humpday everyone - may the rest of the work week pass quickly.