There's so much going on right now in my little corner of the world. It's all good stuff, and change is always stressful, but its hard to wrap my little mind around everything that's going on around me. I often feel this way, wondering if I'm "Standing Still" as Jewel put it. Standing here watching the world whiz by, forgetting what's really important, missing clues, that sort of thing.
I'm having a hard time remembering to take care of me. As mothers, we tend to put ourselves last the majority of the time. I haven't bought myself new clothes in over two years, aside from a dress to wear to a business function and a $10 skirt. I haven't been to see the dentist to have my wisdom teeth removed, even though they hurt like a monkey a whole lot of the time. I haven't seen a doctor (aside from asthma crap) in over a year either. Stupid, I know.
Baby steps. I have been real adament about my weight loss program and I've accomplished a whole lot there. 40 lbs is a lot. I've been real stubborn about my need to finish my degree, and I've stayed that course for TWELVE YEARS. (Three more classes left. Three!) I forced everyone around me to put up with my butt while I studied and sat for that certifying exam (which obviously paid off in spades). I even had my hair trimmed two Saturdays ago.
Somehow, when I'm "selfish" like that, I feel like I have to be selfless in every other way, so I put my needs last. Then, I get resentful, which is so stupid. My assistant and I were talking about it the other day, and she pointed out that the most self-LESS thing to do would be to take care of myself, and she's right. I'm an integral part of my kids' world, and taking care of me is indirectly making sure they're okay.
Lots of changes, lots of things to look forward to. Its all good, but its still a little stressful. I just need to remember to unclench and takes things one breath at a time.
Schtuff going on:
Soon (we hope) we should be finding out if hubby got a job he applied for. He's feeling well enough to work again, which is awesome, but it takes this certain government entity 14-19 days to process a new hire. As with most things, the more time that lapses, the higher the doubt and worry, so send us some good job vibes. With him working, the financial stress will be lessened and/or non-existant, but there'll be others. He'll be gone the majority of the time I'm at home, which was hard on us marriage-wise before. I'll have to take the kids to school and pick them up afterwards, and the little one will be in a daycare program after school again. Tha means there'll be little or no time for mom to work out, until I figure out Plan B. I guess there's a trade off for everything, and we really need the money right now. In the short run, this will be a really wonderful thing for us, so yeah, send the good job vibes.
My fall semester begins Monday, and unlike any other semester for the past 12 years, I don't have a concrete schedule yet. I need three courses (four if I take an elective) to graduate, and the two I need to take this semester are full. I've been trying non-stop since Monday to sneak in with no luck. So, Monday morning, I'll make a puppy dog eyed plea to a tax professor to please please let me in so I can graduate. Then Tuesday afternoon I'll go through the same thing with a different professor. If I don't get in these two courses, I'll have to put off graduation until Fall 2006. That'll be really really hard to swallow.
I still don't have books purchased yet either, which is also completely out of character. It is driving me nuts to be this unprepared at the beginning of a semester. I'm not handling it well.
On the Home Front:
Emily started high school without a hitch, hated it for the first two days, and is now growing accustomed to the newsurroundings. When I asked her what was so bad about high school she said, "Mom, the school's big, the people are big..." Yeah, I remember. Upperclassmen can be such jerks. Thank gawd she's as tall as me, so she doesn't get bullied around that much.
Kayla's 3rd grade bilingual teacher is a little less than bilingual, which is turning into a large problem. Its going to be difficult to communicate in Spanish to Spanish-speakers if you have to ask how to say certain things. Don't get me wrong here, but I think a teacher who claims to be qualified to teach an enriched bilingual class needs to be fluent. Just my personal opinion. We'll see what the school comes up with, but we're already anticipating the excuses: we're short of funding, didn't have time to fill the vacancy...you get my drift.
So I'm an Assistant Troop Leader this year for Kayla's Girl Scout Troop, at least until they find someone who doesn't work/school/mom so much. I haven't learned the word "no", obviously. The woman who does it has done such a good job though, and I'd hate to see the troop dissolve just because she doesn't have the help she needs.
I've also been asked to head another committee for a different professional organization we belong to at work. That would make three, plus my duties as a board member of my little professional group, PLUS the Girl Scout thing, work, school, kids... I just feel so guilty if I don't accept these requests.
Someday I'll grow a spine, honest. I just don't want to end up mean and grouchy.
AIDS WALK 2005:
Yep, its that time of year again! Pretty soon I'll be posting info on how you can support my team for the 2005 AIDS Walk here in beautiful downtown Albuquerque, NM. This year, they got high tech and you can build a website to solicit donations. There's your warning. I'll be stepping up preaching about AIDS and the desperate need for funding very very soon.
I need sponsors! $1-$100 I don't care, its all for a good cause.
Any of my friends and cohorts in the Albuquerque area (Le, B, Rita, Kim, and others - HINT) are more than welcome to come and walk with us. Its always a blast, and we always go eat afterwards!!
More to come on this topic latah...
New Mexico State Fair 2005:
Yep, since its almost AIDS Walk time, its almost State Fair time. We're not talking a "cow chip tossin" kinda state fair, we're talking a HUGE multicultural event that lasts almost 3 weeks. I am PSYCHED. (21 more days!!) There'll be lotsa pictures, of course, and y'all can pick fun all you want.
No, there's not a lot to do/look forward to in Albuquerque very often. Happy??
Jokes of the week:
What does an accountant use for birth control? ---her personality. <rim shot>
What's the difference between an accountant and a lawyer? --The accountant knows he's boring.
Tell me I don't fit the mold. Wait - first read a different entry, THEN tell me I don't fit the mold.
<purge complete> I feel much better now, thank you.
Have a glorious Thursday evening. Peace out.