Thursday, October 20, 2005

Blah. Another completely selfish journal entry.

So often I wonder how two totally different people have made it together for such a long time.  17 years age difference, totally different upbringing, completely different moral standards, different cultural backgrounds...all of the things people say shouldn't matter, but eventually they always do. 

Opposites attract, people say.  Well yeah, I guess they do, but for how long? 

How long is the learning curve?  How long do you make allowances for completely different outlooks on life? 

What do you do when you're so completely different, you sometimes wonder why you're still together?

Her:  Outgoing, young(er), optimistic, goofy, completely against illegal drug use of any kind, goes out of her skin if she has to stay inside an entire day, thinks of sitting around watching TV all day as torture, needs to constantly be doing at least 10 things at any given time, HATES being alone, craves constant stimulation, would just as soon cut her own hand off than steal from another person, and loves spending every spare moment with her children.

Him:  Reserved, quiet, old(er), shy, dark cloudish, somewhat liberal moral standards, loves being inside watching the same set of 10 movies over and over, hates being anywhere but home, loves zoning out and sleeping, and enjoys spending time alone.

So now what. 

I'll tell you:  11+ years of trying to make things work, compromise, patience, and more compromise until the compromising causes resentment.

Angry words, hurt feelings, complete communication breakdown, and silence. 

...and still we tread on.  Why?  I have two reasons, both with beautiful brown eyes and worry on their faces. 

Tomorrow's another day.


kuhlhiggins said...

((((((( Kris)))))))))).

donah42 said...

Kris, you sound like my hubby and your hubby sounds like me :) We have been together 8 1/2 years and sometimes I wonder what in the hell we are doing together. We are opposite in a lot of ways & this causes misunderstandings, but we also have an underlying layer of sameness...
I try not to offer advice regarding people's relationships, but I have felt the love that you & your hubby have in this journal. It's hard to come by and worth working to hang on to. {{{{Kris}}}} If you can, think back to the early days together and what brought you together in the first place. What you loved about eachother. Keep us posted and purge all you need to.

jmorancoyle said...

    I go through this every so often, and it seems to last forever. Then it just passes and we can stand each other again. I find that I have so many interests that Bill doesn't enjoy, and the same with him. We do together what it is we share, and then we do some things apart. I hope your problems pass soon.

mikethedawg said...

Everyone has a limit. Everyone deserves to be happy. You just have to decide what makes you happy.

lurkynat said...

(((Kris))))) THose reasons must be strong....TO keep you strong..and I think they are... hang,nat

andreakingme said...

Wow. You two almost seem like how Ken and I used to be. I'm more like your hubby (but maybe not to the degree you portray him as, although that could change with age ...).

Counseling, Kris. Something more than just opposites attracting brought you two together. People change all the time and so does marriage/relationships. Counseling. Really. Go.

::keeping my fingers crossed for you::

babyshark28 said...

This sounds like a typical day of marriage.  
where it burps and you say excuse me.
it's when there is a bunch of burping and no one
apologizes, that's when things get tangled.

but, you know this already....
it's just great to vent!


boiseladie said...

Marriage is not easy, and must be tended to.  Relationships, like roses in a rose garden, are beautiful but have thorns, they need to be weeded once in a while to keep them healthy.