Wednesday, October 26, 2005

Journaling and Selfishness and pfft.

A few days ago, I posted a heart-felt journal entry about stuff and things that I'm going through.  I honestly didn't mean to stir up as much dust as I did, but the response I received warrants a response in kind.

As many of my friends have said, our journals are for us.  They can be whatever we need them to be.  Journalling has become a very valuable tool for me, and serves many purposes.  I can keep in touch with my friends, I can post goofy things, I can put up pics of my beautiful daughters... but the purpose behind me posting my marital issues was two-fold:

First, (and I've done this for the longest time) its helpful for me in emotionally intense situations to get things down in writing.  This helps me form my thoughts, get things into perspective, and vent when communications are failing otherwise.  I used to do this in letter form and throw the letters away.  Now I can do it here, and get feedback.  I'm one of those that truly wants to know if she's being ridiculous.

Second, sometimes we need to open things up to group.  We need the "Girlfriend Factor".  So no, you don't know the whole story, but it still helps to know you're here.  Maybe that's a girl thing, but I love the fact that I've got people in my life who back me up.

The comment was made that perhaps people should print out their journal entries so the sig other can read them, to spark communication.  Trust me, in my situation everyone knows exactly what the issues are.  He knows where my journal is, he's fully aware of what's going on - these entries are for my personal edification, not to start arguments.  Lord knows we've had enough of those lately.  This is our space - a safe place to spew, whine, cry or goof about whatever we want.

Besides, when I open up to group I get totally awesome friends stepping in to remind me just how much I love this man and why.  (Thanks Amy!)

Thank you all for the hugs and the squooge.  I really really REALLY needed that.


On a totally different note...TOTALLY different, trust me.

I'm a shoe whore.  I love shoes.  Anyway I just bought a brand new pair of black leather boots and wore them to work and I just couldn't understand why they hurt so badly.  They were tight and hard to walk in, and I was generally bummed.  I walk a lot during the day, and if your shoes hurt it is not a good thing.  Makes for grumpy Krisses.  Bad.

Now these boots are hot, let me tell you.  Black is one of my favorite colors, and these are sexy.  Plus, they're semi-comfortable and look cute with jeans, AND I can wear them to work because the coordinate nicely with other stuff.  (I can wear my goofy tacky socks with them too, and no one knows.)

Anyway, I digress.

So I went home, took them off, and left them for a few days.  The next time I tried them on, I felt something funky inside.  Turns out I never pulled out the little cardboard insert thingies they stick in there for whatever reason. 

(What is that for anyway - so they don't get squished, or so they don't look dorky in the box??) 

So, yes, I'm still the same goofy dorky Kris.  Last year about this time I was going to work all day, attending meetings and going to class with my shirt on inside out.  I also almost went to work with my shower towel on my head.  (Thank you, Louie!)

This year,  I'm wearing cardboard inserts in my shoes.  Its all good.




Y'all can thank Louie for this entry - when I told him about the boot thing, (after he finished guffawing) he suggested I put it in my journal.  So there you go.


donah42 said...

Kris, I hope your purge helped the other day :)
And any man who offers up water retention as a reason for lack of weight loss is a man worth holding on to ;)

kuhlhiggins said...

Your boots sound really cute. I get grumpy too when my shoes hurt my feet.

ravenlark2 said...

Too funny about the shoes. Take pictures. We'd love to see.

As for why people write in journals, I agree with you. I write because I want to. because I feel a sense of relief when I get things "off my chest". I don't do it with the hopes of my hubby, sister or anyone else reading them so that issues can be laid out and solved. My journal has solved some issues that way but not because the entries were written for that purpose.

Sometimes, the advice I'm given by fellow J-Landers is just invaluable. That's why I write. Thanks for sharing your reasons too. :-)


mikethedawg said...

It's good to bounce things off other people. It's good to just vent too. Ulcers are caused when you keep all that sh.. cramped up inside there. Sometimes I vent so much I feel sorry for the people around me...
Living with people, no matter who they are, isn't easy.
Whatever your feelings are, they are always valid.

jmorancoyle said...

    Welcome to my world. I spent a half hour screaming at my boys because they were teasing this poor little girl across the street. Then I changed my shirt and went to work. I couldn't figure out why everyone was staring at me funny until I got home and realized that I, too, put my shirt on inside out. But that isn't as bad as the day I went to work wearing two different shoes. And they weren't even the same height, let alone color or style.
    I know a lot about venting. Got to get it out sometime. Bill and I just went through one of those quiet periods. Now that we're getting along again, the kids are upset because they get teased so much more than before. At least we're all laughing at ourselves.