If anyone's still out there...
So yeah, I done graduated, and then I took off to Vegas for a conference for a week (yep I've got pics - I'll get them here, really I will), and then I ...
...managed to piss everyone off, lost all track of time, got very little done and here I sit chasing my tail like a dork.
Crazy how "stuff to do" will expand proportionally to fill the time you've gained by graduating from college, huh.
This is an adjustment, and a big one. I don't know how to explain it exactly, but I'll try.
Say you've been striving for a goal for close to a decade and a half. Its been all-consuming, stressful, and you've been focused on this one thing for all these years and then suddenly you get there. First, you're elated. YEAH! I did it!! Then, you scratch your head and wonder..."what the heck do I do now?"
Well, I'm reading for pleasure. I'm cleaning and organizing little by little. I'm sitting out by the pool with the girls. I'm grooming my dogs. I'm making my bed. I'm watching TV when I can stomach it. I'm catching up on e-mails and journals. I'm writing thank you cards and visiting with friends more often. I'm spending tons more time with my daughters.
But (yes there's a but), I feel like I'm sort of goal-less. Like I've lost my focus. I don't know where I'm headed. Its an adjustment, that's for sure.
Meanwhile, I'm pissing off people in droves it seems and I SWEAR I'm not doing it on purpose. I flaked contacting my friend before I went to visit her new town for my conference, then I misplaced her number, and then I stalked her unsuccesfully for two days. (Forgive me Aileen I swear I didn't do iton purpose. I'm a flake. I'm an idiot.) I haven't returned e-mails or phone calls to a couple of other people (Chuck), and I've fallen desperately behind in reading my favorite journals.
Its just that big adjustment process. I can't put my finger on it, but I feel kinda lost, sorta.
Here's my collective apology to everyone I've flaked out on:
I need to get my feces coagulated. I apologize.