Monday, December 3, 2007

Ninjas & Power Rangers

I love working with first graders.

Sometimes you just need the recharge. It's so refreshing to see these bright little spongy minds, with nothing to discourage them or make them self-conscious yet. They're lacking that horrible second-guessing themselves hiccup that all the rest of us are victims of. I love that!

One of my little hour-long sessions is about jobs: the purpose of jobs (to provide for our needs, and wants if there's some left over), to be productive members of society, and to make our communities better. In this topic, I always do the "What do you wanna be when you grow up?" thing, because its just so doggone adorable, and yes - refreshing. I follow every answer with "where do you get the training to find the skills you need for (whateveryouwannabe)?"

So this time I get the normal answers: vet, "army guy", policeman, fireman, race car driver, teacher, engineer (the train kind), doctor, lawyer...finally I get to Julian. Julian wants to be a ninja. Cool! So where do you get the skills you need to be a ninja?

From other ninjas. Duh. (eyeroll)

Halfway through our schpeel he changes his mind. Wait! Something better! Julian wants to be a Power Ranger. Right on! Where do you get those skills? (I know you're all dying to know.)

From other Power Rangers. Ner.

I can dig that. On the job training, right? Practice!

So while defending the universe is a great life goal, I'm wondering how he'll provide for himself and his family should he choose to have one. Maybe I should encourage him to be an army ranger, or a forest ranger, or a karate instructor, because I'm a grownup and that's what grownups do. Color inside the lines... dogs can't be purple, silly... girls can't work in construction... walk, don't run....

After a moment or two I thought better of that whole line of questioning. You know what? Who cares?The boy's got goals. He knows what he wants to do and who am I to discourage that?

I'll wait 12 years. It'll be awesome to see New Mexico's first Ninja Power Ranger, defending our universe.

You go, Julian.

Tuesday, November 20, 2007

Random 1st Grade Facts & Gratitude


Quote of the day from Granny Moon:

The gem cannot be polished without friction, nor man perfected without trials. ~ Chinese Proverb

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Three things I didn't know yesterday, as told to me by three first graders on their way to recess:

"I have a cousin named Chris. He's already dead." Great that we have the same name, bad that he's dead.

"My brother killed a rabbit. We ate it. It was goooood. My brother gave me the hind leg to play with and it still moves!" Well there's an anatomy lesson...

"I saw a naked person!" He said this while slipping away, so teacher doesn't hear and he doesn't get in trouble...then quieter, "...in a magazine!" (runs away as fast as his little legs will carry him)

*************************

My annual (daily) gratitude list:

I'm completely thankful for:

My children, my angels, my babies...they continue to amaze me each and every day. I get to be their Mom!

My health. Those of you that have been reading for a while know that's not a given with me. Here's to good health, and continued good health.

My friends and family. My friends tolerate me so very well. I'm not worthy. Thanks for always putting up with my crap.

My job. I finally have a place I can go each day that I actually enjoy. I love what I do, and I'm paid very well for doing it. I try to never take that for granted.

My hitos. I feel like each animal I have in my life was heaven-sent, and I'm fortunate to have their little hearts in my life.

The little things. Multi-colored paperclips, a great song, my Elvis pens, the flowers in my yard, a car that starts each morning, a squoogie pillow, cinnamon iced tea, Dr. Pepper lip gloss, a smile, a hug and a squoogie pillow.

Life is still good.

Happy Thanksgiving!

Thursday, November 1, 2007

Superstitions and Farewells

For those of you who fall in the "might not know but may still care" category....

Farewells:

My brother in law passed away October 11 rather suddenly at the age of 60.  He was found slumped in his chair looking asleep in his home.  Supposedly something burst in his stomach - I don't know what the official cause of death was.  I feel guilt because he and I weren't on great terms at the time of his passing, and I said some not nice things to him the last time I saw him.  He was a very extremely talented artist, a Viet Nam vet, and Louie's best friend.  I learned that he enlisted at the tender age of 16, was a paratrooper, volunteered for three tours, and earned two purple hearts and a bronze star among other things. He was finished at age 19 and broken, both physically and mentally.  He never recovered from the war.  I hope he's found peace now.

My grandfather passed away this Sunday.  He was very old. He fell asleep Sunday afternoon and didn't wake up.  I loved him tons, and although I'm going to miss him, I'm glad he passed quietly without some long drawn-out horribly painful ordeal.  My kids remember him dressing up as a clown each Halloween to hand out candy.  He went to Clown School (yes there is one) after he retired to learn how to clown correctly. They remember the little tune he sang out of joy when he got a new-fangled cell phone last Christmas.  I remember that he always made me feel like I was a blood relative, even though I wasn't.  I remember that he always called me my whole entire name (even when I wasn't in trouble) when no one else did.  I remember that he came to my college graduation, which meant so much to me.  I remember his tomato garden, his turtles (to keep the bugs off the tomatoes) and his affinity for fixing old manual typewriters.  I remember his office, where my brother and I used to spin around in that old chair until we were very near to barfage, and that he had an envelope moistener that looked like the Rolling Stones lips and tongue.  I remember his disgust about how such fertile farmland near our Peralta home was divided and developed into single family housing.  I remember that old southern drawl and how it took him nine years to tell a story.  I remember that he always wore a dapper hat when he went visiting. I remember my mom telling me how he wouldn't let her eat the food at the fair because of all the flies, and how badly he felt for her after she broke her last bottle when she was little.  I also remember the story of how he and my Meemaw met - he came to look at a sick cow on their farm.

I'll miss him.

Superstition:

Bad stuff always happens in threes.  I'm not sure why I'm like this, but now I'm waiting for the some other bad third thing.  I find myself obsessing over it.  I wish it would just happen so I could handle it and move on.  Louie laid something marriage-busting on me in July, was that the first thing?  Or are we on number 4 now?

I swear I don't know why I feel the need to count these things.  I guess its part of my OCD thing - I've mentioned before about my need to always have things in even numbers, as if having an odd number will bring negative energy or something.  I think of it more as a balance concept - you always need at least two of something.  Much like accounting, with its debits and credits...Its a zen thing.

Purge complete. 

Tuesday, October 23, 2007

Read this now

Finish each day and be done with it. You have done
what you could; some blunders and absurdities have
crept in; forget them as soon as you can. Tomorrow
is a new day; you shall begin it serenely and with too
high a spirit to be encumbered with your old nonsense.
~Ralph Waldo Emerson
 
 
.....enough said.

Wednesday, October 10, 2007

Mini Rant

We all have our preferred mode of contact and communication.  Just as our attitudes and personalities are unique to us, so are our communication styles. 

I am definately a text/e-mail person.  I do not like phone conversations.  I simply despise long drawn out phone conversations (AKA anything longer than 15 minutes).  I'm just not a phone person. 

Is that so hard to understand?  I know there are others out there like this. 

NO I'm not antisocial, I'm just anti-vocal.  I'm perfectly capable of having a meaningful conversation in person.  Everything else can be done electronically.

I think part of this has to do with the fact that I am, from the time I wake up to when my head hits the pillow, multitasking in some way, shape or form.  I have ADHD, so that's sort of my M.O.  I can't be doing just one thing at a time, because that will drive me insane.  In order to be fully stimulated, I have to have at least two things going on at once.  Its impossible to multitask on the phone and still be effective.

Another part of it is my hectic life.  I am constantly either at work, volunteering, or with my kids.  There's rarely an occasion where I'm alone and/or not working.  In order to make a phone call, I have to make a conscious decision, set aside time, and concentrate on just that thing.  On top of that, as a working mom, I want every available moment with my kids.  If I'm blabbing on the phone all the time, that's not quality time.  Alternatively, if I can answer an e-mail at my leisure, usually after several different attempts, its just easier.  I can get other things accomplished in the meantime.  If I have to get up or stop to do something else real quick, I can.  If one of my kids needs to ask me a quick question, I can answer them.  On the phone though...its a different story.

I actually shut my phone off at home because we have three cell phones between us.  My only mode of contact at this point phone-wise is my work cell phone.  I don't need a telephone.  I don't like them, and I wouldn't use them if I didn't have to. 

Sidenote:  I have one of those irritating blue tooth things for work purposes...am I the only one that finds those annoying?  I always think someone's talking to their imaginary friend, and they're on their damn bluetooth thing.  Its rude to be on the phone when there are others around you who you're supposed to be paying attention to.  Just so you know.  Aside from my kids, there is NOTHING important enough to justify me walking around on the phone like that.

I completely understand different communication styles.  I know, to be effective at my job and in life, I have to call certain people to get a response, and they prefer that over e-mail.  That's totally fine with me, and I can respect that.  There are other, more verbal, personality types that prefer a face-to-face conversation or a telephone call over an e-mail.  My boss is one of those people.  I have friends and family like that, who've come to understand that you can leave me nine million voicemails, and I'll still respond back with an e-mail or a text message.  You want a phone conversation with me?  Good luck with that.  Its just not happening.  And if it does happen, it'll be quick and dirty and to the point.

I think my next phone purchase will be a Blackberry, so I can e-mail and text from the phone rather than answering it.  HA!

*Mini rant complete*

Tuesday, October 2, 2007

Fidgety

I was a fidgety kid.  I was diagnosed ADHD and thankfully given the medications I needed to function, but a lot of the time I still wanted to crawl right out of my skin from the inside.  Now that I'm a grown up, occasionally I'll have a bad day where I feel the need to run around the block for a few times.  Fortunately (or maybe unfortunately for those around me) I'm not on meds anymore, having learned some tools (so I thought) to master this issue.

Today was one of those days.

Unfortunately I was stuck in a conference all day.  A highly informative conference that I've sort of been looking forward to, in an accounting nerd sorta way.

I was ready to bust a cap.  I could NOT sit still for the entire second half of the conference.  I'm not sure I heard a lot of what the man said.  Its like a volcano ready to erupt - you have all this pent up energy just underneath the surface and no where to let it go.  Staying on task, paying attention is like torture.  Truth be told, I don't know if I would have been productive in any capacity this afternoon, and I have no idea why.  I don't know what triggered it.

I played with my hair.

I picked up and opened my cell phone about 4,598,631 times.

I clicked my pen.

I doodled.

I tapped my foot.

I shifted around in my chair.

I adjusted my shirt.

It gets worse.  I'm still feeling this way. I'm drinking caffiene (sp) because it has the opposite effect on ADHD people.  It usually calms me right down. I'll get there and stop rambling like a crazy person.

I wish I could effectively describe it.  

Got it!!

About 50 excitable honeybees in a very small jar, kept in the pit of your stomach. 

I'm off to get more tea.

Monday, October 1, 2007

Were we this dramatic?

Saturday night - I get some cockamamie story from my oldest about how last minute she wants to spend the night somewhere and stuff wasn't making sense so I pulled the plug and went and fetched her from a local fast food chain, thereby interrupting her plans for the evening.

Reaction:  Tears, you're so mean, you don't understand me, why don't you trust me, blah blah, drama drama, wah wah, more tears, slammed door, silence.

For some reason, now that there's a boyfriend involved I second guess anything.  Not fair, I realize, but I also remember the stuff I pulled at her age.  I'm trying to be at least half a step ahead.  She's asked me more than twice if she can spend the night at said boyfriend's or vice versa. 

Uhm...No.

So I get this bulletin today "My mom hates me".

<screech!> Say what??

O.M.G. W.T.F.

Where we this dramatic? 

I remember how things/emotions/events/reactions were ten times bigger than actual size when we were in high school, but jeez.

Now, I've tried to make my children's existance a fairly good one.  They've been brought up in a home that is fear-free, comfortable and relatively fun to be in.  That was one of the goals.  The children have more "stuff" than I ever did, and I grew up in a semi-affluent family.  The oldest has a good head on her shoulders, so I don't question things often.  She's a good kid.  But when I do...holy guacamole.

So I explain my job description again.  Basically, my first objective/responsibility is to ensure her safety, health and welfare.  The end product, or deliverable, would be a productive responsible contributing member of society. 

She'll get over it. 

Freedom and Guilt

The silly daily affirmation I got in my mail box this morning said something about freedom. 

I give myself permission to release bondage and oppression
from every level of the energy field.  I turn my attention to freedom.

The interesting thing about that is the emphasis on negative energy.  WHATEVER it is we're craving freedom from, today's the day to release it.  Bondage, oppression, a certain individual or thing (energy vampire), a negative feeling...let it go. 

So I did!

I've been feeling tremendously guilty for spending $136.36 this Saturday on some fall work attire.  I got four shirts and two pairs of pants for that at Kohls, and I felt so guilty it was sick.  I should have been celebrating!  Who gets that many new clothes for that amount of money!?! 

Kayla needs tennies real bad, some new riding boots and helmet, and Emily always needs something.  I bought them about $400 worth of clothes to start school with, and I feel guilty for dropping a little over $100 on myself.  That's about 1/3 of my total clothes expenditure for the year.  I think I've spent about $300 (including this weekend) on my professional attire for the year.

WHY do I feel guilty about stuff like that?  I work my butt off, earn the healthiest salary I've ever earned...and I feel guilty for $136.  I can afford it.

This whole month is about freedom, so I'm sure I'll think of a bunch more things to let go.  I usually blame this stuff on my upbringing (christian guilt and what-not) but this is ridiculous.  My children are well taken care of (spoiled rotten).  So, I'm letting it go.  I'm setting myself free from that negative guilt energy.

...and enjoying my new clothes.


 

Thursday, September 27, 2007

suckbuttiest friend ever

My life has thankfully calmed down to the point where I can read my personal e-mail, check out blogs and read books for pleasure, even if its only for a few moments a day.

I've realized, however, that over the past year of mayhem and madness, I've let a lot of my friendships fall by the wayside. As with anything, if you stop nurturing or giving energy to something, it fades and dies. Hopefully my friends are the forgiving type, and they'll listen to me long enough to let me apologize and try to understand that I don't do this crap on purpose.

I've got this great job that I've devoted a ton of attention to, and my babies are all-important, but those aren't the only things that make a life whole.  Life, in general, is wonderful.  I just forgot there were other parts of it that require my attention and energy.

As I get older, I understand more and more why friends are important. We simply can't survive without human relationships in our short existance here on earth. The way our lives have become, we must have support systems in place to fall back on. When the bottom does fall out, as mine has, you realize you've alienated and/or ignored the friends you so desperately need to lean on.

Now, like the selfish brat I am, I caught myself feeling like they should just magically appear to help me sort through the latest mess...failing to realize that I've been MIA for the past year (or more)!  WTF is wrong with me???

I can't promise I'll change, but I can promise I'll make the effort.

Wednesday, July 11, 2007

Almost a year!

Wow this feels weird.  I'm not sure what to say about the past year.  Nothing really exciting has happened, which is downright sad.  Blah blah blah, work sleep work, blah blah blah.

I haven't lost any more weight, but I have started exercising.  I feel better than I have in years and I'm actually running now.  (I never ever thought I'd say that!)

We lost one of our dog babies this year - Byron the handsome shephard - and just recently adopted a giant dog named Frank.  He's over 110 lbs and is about a year old.  I'm sure his name is short for Frankenstein, but that's just my guess.  His foster mom said he was half shepherd, and I think the other half is mastiff.  He's ginormous.

I graduated, I got through the surgeries fine, I love my job, my kids are great...not much more to bore you with.  People have been bugging me to post, so here I am.

Perhaps in the near future I'll think of something worth posting, but I have nothing.  Does anyone even post on AOL Journals anymore?  Are there any good ones left?  (Aside from Mortimer, whom I heart very much, and is always entertaining)

I missed this.  Perhaps I'll start using it again and not care who reads it.  That was my prior hangup - I was worried about what people (ie career/job public eye people) read in my journal.  I think maybe I'll start posting again for myself and just not care.  YEAH.

So here it is, my first uneventful post after a year. 

FIN