Tuesday, October 23, 2007

Read this now

Finish each day and be done with it. You have done
what you could; some blunders and absurdities have
crept in; forget them as soon as you can. Tomorrow
is a new day; you shall begin it serenely and with too
high a spirit to be encumbered with your old nonsense.
~Ralph Waldo Emerson
 
 
.....enough said.

Wednesday, October 10, 2007

Mini Rant

We all have our preferred mode of contact and communication.  Just as our attitudes and personalities are unique to us, so are our communication styles. 

I am definately a text/e-mail person.  I do not like phone conversations.  I simply despise long drawn out phone conversations (AKA anything longer than 15 minutes).  I'm just not a phone person. 

Is that so hard to understand?  I know there are others out there like this. 

NO I'm not antisocial, I'm just anti-vocal.  I'm perfectly capable of having a meaningful conversation in person.  Everything else can be done electronically.

I think part of this has to do with the fact that I am, from the time I wake up to when my head hits the pillow, multitasking in some way, shape or form.  I have ADHD, so that's sort of my M.O.  I can't be doing just one thing at a time, because that will drive me insane.  In order to be fully stimulated, I have to have at least two things going on at once.  Its impossible to multitask on the phone and still be effective.

Another part of it is my hectic life.  I am constantly either at work, volunteering, or with my kids.  There's rarely an occasion where I'm alone and/or not working.  In order to make a phone call, I have to make a conscious decision, set aside time, and concentrate on just that thing.  On top of that, as a working mom, I want every available moment with my kids.  If I'm blabbing on the phone all the time, that's not quality time.  Alternatively, if I can answer an e-mail at my leisure, usually after several different attempts, its just easier.  I can get other things accomplished in the meantime.  If I have to get up or stop to do something else real quick, I can.  If one of my kids needs to ask me a quick question, I can answer them.  On the phone though...its a different story.

I actually shut my phone off at home because we have three cell phones between us.  My only mode of contact at this point phone-wise is my work cell phone.  I don't need a telephone.  I don't like them, and I wouldn't use them if I didn't have to. 

Sidenote:  I have one of those irritating blue tooth things for work purposes...am I the only one that finds those annoying?  I always think someone's talking to their imaginary friend, and they're on their damn bluetooth thing.  Its rude to be on the phone when there are others around you who you're supposed to be paying attention to.  Just so you know.  Aside from my kids, there is NOTHING important enough to justify me walking around on the phone like that.

I completely understand different communication styles.  I know, to be effective at my job and in life, I have to call certain people to get a response, and they prefer that over e-mail.  That's totally fine with me, and I can respect that.  There are other, more verbal, personality types that prefer a face-to-face conversation or a telephone call over an e-mail.  My boss is one of those people.  I have friends and family like that, who've come to understand that you can leave me nine million voicemails, and I'll still respond back with an e-mail or a text message.  You want a phone conversation with me?  Good luck with that.  Its just not happening.  And if it does happen, it'll be quick and dirty and to the point.

I think my next phone purchase will be a Blackberry, so I can e-mail and text from the phone rather than answering it.  HA!

*Mini rant complete*

Tuesday, October 2, 2007

Fidgety

I was a fidgety kid.  I was diagnosed ADHD and thankfully given the medications I needed to function, but a lot of the time I still wanted to crawl right out of my skin from the inside.  Now that I'm a grown up, occasionally I'll have a bad day where I feel the need to run around the block for a few times.  Fortunately (or maybe unfortunately for those around me) I'm not on meds anymore, having learned some tools (so I thought) to master this issue.

Today was one of those days.

Unfortunately I was stuck in a conference all day.  A highly informative conference that I've sort of been looking forward to, in an accounting nerd sorta way.

I was ready to bust a cap.  I could NOT sit still for the entire second half of the conference.  I'm not sure I heard a lot of what the man said.  Its like a volcano ready to erupt - you have all this pent up energy just underneath the surface and no where to let it go.  Staying on task, paying attention is like torture.  Truth be told, I don't know if I would have been productive in any capacity this afternoon, and I have no idea why.  I don't know what triggered it.

I played with my hair.

I picked up and opened my cell phone about 4,598,631 times.

I clicked my pen.

I doodled.

I tapped my foot.

I shifted around in my chair.

I adjusted my shirt.

It gets worse.  I'm still feeling this way. I'm drinking caffiene (sp) because it has the opposite effect on ADHD people.  It usually calms me right down. I'll get there and stop rambling like a crazy person.

I wish I could effectively describe it.  

Got it!!

About 50 excitable honeybees in a very small jar, kept in the pit of your stomach. 

I'm off to get more tea.

Monday, October 1, 2007

Were we this dramatic?

Saturday night - I get some cockamamie story from my oldest about how last minute she wants to spend the night somewhere and stuff wasn't making sense so I pulled the plug and went and fetched her from a local fast food chain, thereby interrupting her plans for the evening.

Reaction:  Tears, you're so mean, you don't understand me, why don't you trust me, blah blah, drama drama, wah wah, more tears, slammed door, silence.

For some reason, now that there's a boyfriend involved I second guess anything.  Not fair, I realize, but I also remember the stuff I pulled at her age.  I'm trying to be at least half a step ahead.  She's asked me more than twice if she can spend the night at said boyfriend's or vice versa. 

Uhm...No.

So I get this bulletin today "My mom hates me".

<screech!> Say what??

O.M.G. W.T.F.

Where we this dramatic? 

I remember how things/emotions/events/reactions were ten times bigger than actual size when we were in high school, but jeez.

Now, I've tried to make my children's existance a fairly good one.  They've been brought up in a home that is fear-free, comfortable and relatively fun to be in.  That was one of the goals.  The children have more "stuff" than I ever did, and I grew up in a semi-affluent family.  The oldest has a good head on her shoulders, so I don't question things often.  She's a good kid.  But when I do...holy guacamole.

So I explain my job description again.  Basically, my first objective/responsibility is to ensure her safety, health and welfare.  The end product, or deliverable, would be a productive responsible contributing member of society. 

She'll get over it. 

Freedom and Guilt

The silly daily affirmation I got in my mail box this morning said something about freedom. 

I give myself permission to release bondage and oppression
from every level of the energy field.  I turn my attention to freedom.

The interesting thing about that is the emphasis on negative energy.  WHATEVER it is we're craving freedom from, today's the day to release it.  Bondage, oppression, a certain individual or thing (energy vampire), a negative feeling...let it go. 

So I did!

I've been feeling tremendously guilty for spending $136.36 this Saturday on some fall work attire.  I got four shirts and two pairs of pants for that at Kohls, and I felt so guilty it was sick.  I should have been celebrating!  Who gets that many new clothes for that amount of money!?! 

Kayla needs tennies real bad, some new riding boots and helmet, and Emily always needs something.  I bought them about $400 worth of clothes to start school with, and I feel guilty for dropping a little over $100 on myself.  That's about 1/3 of my total clothes expenditure for the year.  I think I've spent about $300 (including this weekend) on my professional attire for the year.

WHY do I feel guilty about stuff like that?  I work my butt off, earn the healthiest salary I've ever earned...and I feel guilty for $136.  I can afford it.

This whole month is about freedom, so I'm sure I'll think of a bunch more things to let go.  I usually blame this stuff on my upbringing (christian guilt and what-not) but this is ridiculous.  My children are well taken care of (spoiled rotten).  So, I'm letting it go.  I'm setting myself free from that negative guilt energy.

...and enjoying my new clothes.