Thursday, November 1, 2007

Superstitions and Farewells

For those of you who fall in the "might not know but may still care" category....


My brother in law passed away October 11 rather suddenly at the age of 60.  He was found slumped in his chair looking asleep in his home.  Supposedly something burst in his stomach - I don't know what the official cause of death was.  I feel guilt because he and I weren't on great terms at the time of his passing, and I said some not nice things to him the last time I saw him.  He was a very extremely talented artist, a Viet Nam vet, and Louie's best friend.  I learned that he enlisted at the tender age of 16, was a paratrooper, volunteered for three tours, and earned two purple hearts and a bronze star among other things. He was finished at age 19 and broken, both physically and mentally.  He never recovered from the war.  I hope he's found peace now.

My grandfather passed away this Sunday.  He was very old. He fell asleep Sunday afternoon and didn't wake up.  I loved him tons, and although I'm going to miss him, I'm glad he passed quietly without some long drawn-out horribly painful ordeal.  My kids remember him dressing up as a clown each Halloween to hand out candy.  He went to Clown School (yes there is one) after he retired to learn how to clown correctly. They remember the little tune he sang out of joy when he got a new-fangled cell phone last Christmas.  I remember that he always made me feel like I was a blood relative, even though I wasn't.  I remember that he always called me my whole entire name (even when I wasn't in trouble) when no one else did.  I remember that he came to my college graduation, which meant so much to me.  I remember his tomato garden, his turtles (to keep the bugs off the tomatoes) and his affinity for fixing old manual typewriters.  I remember his office, where my brother and I used to spin around in that old chair until we were very near to barfage, and that he had an envelope moistener that looked like the Rolling Stones lips and tongue.  I remember his disgust about how such fertile farmland near our Peralta home was divided and developed into single family housing.  I remember that old southern drawl and how it took him nine years to tell a story.  I remember that he always wore a dapper hat when he went visiting. I remember my mom telling me how he wouldn't let her eat the food at the fair because of all the flies, and how badly he felt for her after she broke her last bottle when she was little.  I also remember the story of how he and my Meemaw met - he came to look at a sick cow on their farm.

I'll miss him.


Bad stuff always happens in threes.  I'm not sure why I'm like this, but now I'm waiting for the some other bad third thing.  I find myself obsessing over it.  I wish it would just happen so I could handle it and move on.  Louie laid something marriage-busting on me in July, was that the first thing?  Or are we on number 4 now?

I swear I don't know why I feel the need to count these things.  I guess its part of my OCD thing - I've mentioned before about my need to always have things in even numbers, as if having an odd number will bring negative energy or something.  I think of it more as a balance concept - you always need at least two of something.  Much like accounting, with its debits and credits...Its a zen thing.

Purge complete. 


jmorancoyle said...

    I've always counted as well. I've discovered though, that I can continue going backwards, counting, counting, counting and counting, and I could always find a way to make things equal out to 3. I understand what you mean by balance though. I know this is not exactly what you means since I'm not aware of having OCD, but I have this thing with eggs. If I have an equal number in a container, they have to be spaced exactly opposite each other, so that if I picked the carton up in the middle, one side wouldn't be heavier than the other and accidently slip out of my hand. Okay, so that's goofy. Oh well, life is tough.
    I'm sorry to hear about your losses. Feel better though. Both men are someplace where their troubles this life has brought them are eased. Your grandfather sounded like a very nice man. Your brother's-in-law story is all too familiar though. My sister's husband was never quite the same either. Take care of yourself.

boiseladie said...

Oh, I'm so sorry for your recent losses.  And, to have lost two special people in your life, in such a short amount of time...  hugs to you.  

I get the numbers thing too... weird, I always do well with numbers, get them, understand them, worry about them, etc...

jevanslink said...

Sorry for your loss.  I feel as though I knew both men thanks to your remembrances.

I'm an odd number person myself.  Threes, fives, sevens. Eleven is an old fave. Even numbers seem so passive to me -- too balanced I suppose. I like off kilter.  

Thanks for stopping by my blog and making such a great comment.

Go Barack!!!

Mrs. L